3/29

So, yesterday was my birthday. At this point in my life, I don't necessarily look forward to them as much as I used to. It's not that I'm not happy, because I am. It's just that the older we get, the less we want to know how much older we're getting. But really, it's just a number, because I certainly don't feel (or act) my age! My bestie, Randi, insisted on planning something. Begrudgingly I allowed her to. She's just so thoughtful that she wants it to be a special day. Well, folks, IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!! My day started with some coffee and yogurt, oh, and lots of sunshine! Then off to a few pet-sitting gigs. Got some really nice text messages and calls from friends and family too. Then to work at the doctors' office, then home to walk Jack and shower/get ready. Tanya had some beautiful flowers delivered and Mom & Dad got me my 1ST FLATSCREEN TV! Kier & Grant got me a dvd player, Rich, Em & the boys spoiled me with a very large denomenation gift card, and Tree made me a beautiful necklace & earrings. But that's not the best part...
Mom picked me up and we headed down to Bourbon Blue for 'the event.' Gen was there to greet us and Randi had decorated the tables with jellybeans and other various items (and a cake - so cute!). Randi joined us and then the friends and family started pouring in. Rich, Tree & Roy, Aunt Marge, Tricia, Shelly, Krysta, Shawn & Sofia, George, Andy & Kym, & Eric. Just a few of the people in my life that I love dearly. I cannot express how it makes me feel that these people gave up their time to come spend a few hours with me. I am humbled and overwhelmed by their show of love. And that of those who could not be there but let me know that they were thinking of me (Debi, Mere, Steph, Melissa, Pat, Tan, Kier, Grant, Suzy, Sue, Aunt Fran,  Daisy, Gary, Tim, Chris, Patty, Christiane, just to name a few). Oh, and then I came home and got on the 'puter for for 1st time yesterday and was stunned to see all of the FB messages!!
I know that people have their own lives and it's so difficult to keep in touch the way we'd like to (good thing for texting, and FB!), but just knowing that I'm thought of and remembered is such an incredible blessing. I, for one, think of many of my friends much, much more often than I'm able to call.
So, I feel very loved and special and I'm going to carry that with me. So how can life be anything but fabulous, man...SHAMALAMADINGDONG!!!

Um...Yum?

So how's this for contradictory? I'm eating potato chips and strawberries/grapes. I have the munchies, and no, not as a side effect (heehee). It's been a while since I've written...my friend Pat just gave me a kick in the hinee. I was thinking how awesome my life is. I'm really loving it right now. Dog walking is easy, even if the pay is not worth the driving; the PR/marketing stuff I'm doing is going well and fun!; I get to stay up late, sleep past 8am, avoid rush hour traffic, and pretty much do whatever my little heart desires. I really have it good right now. I got to spend time with my 2 sisters this weekend, and had breakfast with 3 fabulous girlfriends, and even managed to get some 'productive' things done. Randi has planned a really cool b'day gathering tomorrow night (thanks Wom!) so I get to see a bunch of my friends and family (I swear, if it weren't for Randi I probably wouldn't plan anything). I'm going to Cape May this weekend (and my friend Erin will be keeping my boys company). So I really have alot to look forward to...
Now back to my late night snack!

Work!

So the dog-walking gig is good (but the driving is not), and I started doing some PR/Marketing this week for my chiropractor's office (it's actually an integrated medicine practice). I went around Fairmount introducing myself, handing out flyers and inviting the community to the grand opening on April 9th. SO MUCH FUN! I love meeting new people and they were all very friendly! Philadelphia is such a diverse and fascinating city. So many different neighborhoods, types of architecture, culture galore, etc. I'm am so curious and interested walking and driving around.
Randi has been tirelessly planning my b'day dinner next week...she's so thoughtful. I'm really looking forward to hangin' out and grubbin' with my friends and mom at Bourbon Blue!
More to catch up on, but I...am...pooped...
Time to rest now.

My Family...

What a great day for me...I got to talk to practically my entire family (immediate) today: Kieran, Mom, Tree, & Rich. My brother...Rich (or "RICHAAARRRDDDD) as sometimes he is affectionately called) called me today while I was at the gym. Got me thinking about our relationship. Just the fact that he picked up the phone to call me (as he often does these days) for no other reason than to just say hi and catch up, really makes me so grateful to have him for a brother. Richard is a man of very few words most of the time, unless he likes you/is comfortable with you (and even then he can be stingy with his words), or unless he is sending you a letter about how you're adopted and were intially 'raised' by a pack of wild dogs (one of the funniest things I've ever read!). My brother holds a very, very special place in my heart. It's not that I don't love my sisters, but my relationships with each of my siblings is different. I have I guess what I would call a tenderness, or soft spot for my brother. Maybe partly due to the fact that he's the only boy (and Theresa and I would sometimes gang up on him when we were little). Perhaps another reason is the tragedy he and his wife suffered in 2000. They don't talk about it (esp. Richard) so please don't say anything if you happen to see one of them. My niece, Anna Elisabeth, was born on July 20th, 2000 and died on July 26th. There was something wrong with her heart and she was operated on at St. Christopher's Hospital. They gave her an 80% chance of survival, so when the doctor came in and broke the news that she was gone, it was totally and utterly heart-shattering. I will never, ever, ever forget the effect it had on my brother. When I think about it even a decade later, it brings me to tears and I would do anything to remove that pain from his life.
Miraculously, he and Em had another baby boy (Owen, now almost 9, little brother to Jake, almost 13). But my brother kind of crawled inside of himself as far as Anna was concerned. We rarely (if ever) spoke of her with him. I can understand not wanting to experience the pain. Every year, however, since her death, he and his family host a fundraiser in her honor. For the past several years they have hosted an Alex's Lemonade Stand and have immense success (so much so that they were featured on the front page of their local newspaper last year!). To withstand that kind of pain, and do something good with it deserves the utmost respect (from me, at least). My brother is still one of the funniest people on this planet, and with fabulous taste in music! And my relationship with him (better now in my  'new' life) is one that I cherish, treasure, and hold in a very special place in my heart. I LOVE YOU RICHAAAARRRRRDDDDD!

7am & Pancakes...

Yup...I was up at 7am this morning. I met my parents at Applebees in Andorra for an all-you-can-eat pancake & sausage breakfast to benefit the Sisters of St. Joseph's Welcome Center. I only had one helping, thank you very much...
Yesterday was a glorious day! After my noon dog walk, I scooped Jack up and hung out outside for many hours. Met my friend Pat (and Randi & Dakota joined us for a bit) as well. Main Street was loaded with people and dogs and lots of sunshine! Took Jack home to rest, eat, and then met Krysta, Shawn, Sofia, Andy & Kym for a bit at Stbx on Main, then off to see some friends. I'm on the lookout for a guitar player (has to be pretty proficient) that can sing as well...I'm going to really try to dedicate myself to singing more often. Why not? I keep asking HP what it is I should be doing, and singing just comes naturally to me, so I have to give it a shot, right? If it doesn't work out then I'll know it wasn't meant to be...
Today's gonna be another great day! Shamalamadingdong...

St. Patty's Day and Other Random Thoughts...

Gorgeous day for us Irish folks, eh?  I cannot describe the joy I feel when I see flowers pushing up through the ground and blooming on the trees! Yay for Spring!! I've been taking Ridge Ave home from No. Liberties and I'm fascinated and amused by many of the signs I see. I'm thinking of taking photos during my travels. If so, you'll be sure to see the one that reads "Cuts Dat Flo" - love it.
Had a good workout at the gym (I think a boy was flirting with me too), and took Jack for a nice (slow) walk along Main St. As I passed by Kildare's I was so turned off by it and how packed it was (judgemental, eh?) but then I thought...hey, they're having a good time. Just because it's not MY idea of a good time doesn't mean it's not for them, right? That said, I'd much rather be where I am now than there, any day.
Ok, time to relax and get ready for the WEEKEND!!

Ugh...

Well, joy can be fleeting, but so can misery. I went to bed last night and read for a bit, and then fell asleep sometime around midnight. Jack got me up at around 7:30am to pee, and then I had an extremely difficult time getting out of bed...the old pattern. I wake up grumpy and sore and think "if I can just sleep for a few minutes more..." blah, blah, blah. But I don't sleep. My brain races and I get to feeling guilty for staying in bed, and thus grumpier (and more sore from staying in the same position). What the hell is wrong with me? I want to WANT to get up early, and take full advantage of the day. Maybe I need to be hypnotized...
Once I got started I was raring to go. Had some coffee, left for my 1st dog walk (and had a great time w/ the pups), hung out at a coffee shop across from Eastern State Penitentiary, met with my chiropractor, shot over to the art museum to check out the George Inness exhibit for a bit, went to my 2nd dog walk, hit the gym, took Jack to the park (and had a lovely conversation with Dee), picked up my salad from Couch Tomato (yummy), coaxed Jack to eat a bit, and am now sitting here eating and getting ready to watch Justified. A pretty full day for someone unemployed, eh? But if I can get my ass out of bed earlier I'd be a happier chicken. What started as a poopie day is ending up as a good one, so good thing I know that my grumpy mood won't last long. I met a little 4 year-old girl in the park on one of my walks today who was a riot. She wanted to meet the pups I was walking and then proceeded to talk my ear off. So much personality for such a little soul. She said "If my parents loved me they would let me get a big dog to watch out for me" and "my daddy doesn't care about me...I can go wherever I want" - interesting coming from a little person.
Well, here's hoping that tomorrow starts earlier than today...

Aunt Dee & Aunt Stacy

Well, it has been a lovely day, my friends. Went with Mom to visit Aunt Dee and have lunch and we had a great time. Aunt Dee is so funny! Lots of laughs...
Went to the gym (I could easily work out for a long time as long as they play "The Hangover" in the 'movie room'!), and then took Jack down to Main Street for a very nice visit with "Aunt" Stacy (she spoils him!).
Busy day tomorrow...couple of dog walks and an appointment with my awesome chiropractor...
I'm SOOOOOOO excited that Spring begins this weekend...it's gonna be a good one and an even better summer!!!!

PPA=Poop Poop Ass

So I spent 3 hours at the Parking Authority today. Hearing scheduled for 11:45, finally got seen by a hearing officer at 2:30. Yeah, that's how they roll. That outfit is a racket, man! Their sole purpose is to make our lives miserable and get our money. I considered myself successful today, despite the annoying experience. Paid one ticket (it was legit), got one dismissed (deservedly so, but she acted like she was doing me a favor) and am appealing the other 2 (bs tix, fo sho!). Instead of letting myself get upset (like the dude that got escorted out by the sheriff...he kept yelling "you have my discovery"), I made 2 friends and kept a positive attitude. Got some stuff done after, fed Jack (he ate!), went to the gym, then to see some friends, grilled for Jack and he ate again (!), and am now unwinding on my sofa. A good day, all in all. Tomorrow I get to have lunch with Mom & Aunt Dee...should be a nice time. I really do have it good...maybe Grandmom was looking down on me today keeping me in check (today's her birthday).
Last night I finished reading Maya Angelou's "I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings" - wow...what an amazing story. I was stunned when I realized that I had read the last paragraph. You know it's a great book when you want it to keep going, and are bummed when it doesn't.  I'm trying to decide what to read next. I started a new 'habit' - I have a book in bed and read before going to sleep. I had gotten out of the habit when I started driving again (2 things that are very good for reading: public transportation and weekends in the clink!). So I'm really glad I've been reading again...I enjoy it so much!

Gratitude & a Clean Terlit...

As I was scrubbing my shower, I thanked my Creator for the willingness and energy to clean my bathroom. Wha??? Seriously though, I think because of my upbringing I've developed a resistance to cleaning (some may call this phenomenon "laziness"). For me, being productive around the house is indicitave of more than wanting to check things off of my list...it's a hopeful feeling. And on a side note - Jack just ate some more! Wow...this positive thinking must be contagious! Ok...off to shower in my clean bathroom and head to Eric's partay!

Still Here...

Well, Jack is sticking around for a bit, at least so far. He ate a few things yesterday and finally ate some beef that I grilled for him, some chicken broth, and a couple of treats from Aunt Stacy. Took him to the dog park both yesterday and today and for walks, and he's moving slow, but he's alert and his tail wags when he makes 'friends.' He also seemed to enjoy himself while Andy and I ate at the Turkish place on Main Street (so yummy!).
So I treated myself to a good workout today and then a yummy grilled cheese. Getting some stuff done around the house and paying some bills as well. I noticed all of the partiers out today (St. Patty's day celebrations) and am so grateful I don't have to participate in the stupidity - LOL! I'm gonna lay low tonight and go to bed early...gotta get up at 5-ish and drive my friend to the airport...vacation in San Diego...I'm so jealous!

Update

It's Thursday night and I'm sitting here on my couch next to my boy, Jack. My head hurts...crying does that...gives me a wicked, wicked headache (maybe that's why I don't do it too often). I picked him up from WCVH (the best vet, by the way...AND they pick you up if they see you walking on Ridge Ave!). After another full day of getting IV fluids. He didn't eat, and he's still not eating. If he doesn't eat soon I may have to make a very painful decision. Trigger, my 1st dog (and Jack's 'brother') died after 3 1/2 years. He had a bad heart and died upstairs in my bathroom. Sampson (Sammie), a dog I took in from a family who couldn't keep him, died in my kitchen in July, 2005. Little One, my tiny little kitty, had to be put down in January 2009. So what is worse, finding your beloved pet dead, or having to give the go-ahead for the needle and watching the life drain out of your pet? I don't know. I've experienced both. But I do know this...I've had Jack for most of his life...about 14 1/2 years. We've had our ups and downs - mostly ups. There have been challenges and regrets on my part (I could have been a better & more patient mommy at times). But through it all, he's never stopped loving me unconditionally (even when he was peeing on my bed - LOL!). And as mad as I got at him sometimes, I got un-mad real quick. He's one of the best-tempered creatures on this earth, and a cute as can be. I really can't imagine coming home to a house without Jack. He's more popular than me down on Main Street! This is so hard...I pray that I get the guidance to do the right thing.
I want to thank Jen for the ride yesterday, my parents for letting me borrow the van, the 'girls' for a great night out and catching up last night, all of my friends for their kind words, support, and understanding...and Andy for getting me back online...(whoohoo!).

Jack

He's not doing well. I took him to the vet yesterday for more bloodwork, and his levels are twice as high as they were back in December. When he got sick in December, I prayed that I would have some more time with him, and I got it. And we've had some really fun and funny times. I have to brace myself for the possibility that his time is ending...it's really hard. I'm really sad right now...poor little guy. I hate the thought that he's in pain and suffering, but I can't imagine my home without him in it. He's been with me for 14 1/2 years. He's such a good boy - so well tempered and handsome and funny and full of unconditional love for his mommy. So I'm taking him to be hospitalized for IV fluids...fingers crossed...

I'm Saving Myself for Bobby Long!

That one's for Krysta! Wow...it's been a week. This not having any internet at home is a real bummer, man. I'm sitting in Crossroads (coffee house on Ridge Ave) listening to Band of Horses' "Funeral," drinking coffee (of course!) and eating some spectacular goodies! I love this place...it beats Starsucks by a mile! I had some trouble leaving the house today...feeling anxious for some reason. Maybe it's because Jack isn't doing too well...taking him back to WCVH for more tests tomorrow...fingers crossed.
Ok, so here's what's been going on: last Wednesday was a decent day - dog walking & cat sitting. I saw something pretty 'interesting' (as Grandmom would say) in the park in Northern Liberties. A little girl, maybe 2 or 3, squatting...no pants...doing either #1 or #2 (I didn't want to hang around to find out). Man, I thought that was for the pups only! Thursday was a busy, frustrating, and great day. Frustrating because traffic all day was horrific. Busy because I had 'work,' an interview at the art museum, a tour as well, & picked Kieran up from 30th street station. The interview was for a weekday guide volunteer position, and although the timing is not right for it, the women I spoke with were amazing and so interesting (and interested in me!). I took one of these tours and it wound up being just me and the tour volunteer...and it was SO interesting...I learned a bunch of stuff. I love, love, love, love the Philadelphia Museum of Art.
Friday was another busy day...but a great one! I had pet sitting and then Mom, Kieran and I toured the Barnes Foundation (me for the 1st time). What an amazing collection. The location is pretty hard to find and a few of the staff were not too friendly, but we really enjoyed going. Then we ate at Couch Tomato...yummy. I went home for a bit and then...drum roll please...a bunch of us went to see Bobby Long at World Cafe Live. OMG...I love him. His music and his voice are really amazing. I told my friends that this is why I'm single...because I'm holding out for a musician! We had so much fun.
Saturday afternoon I spent many hours at Mom & Dad's hangin' out with the whole family, including John Thomas (Mandy's 4 year old). I love those peeps...and I'm so lucky to have such a fantastic family! Then I hung with my girl Nadina at The Grape Room. We caught the end of one band's set, and then the 1st few songs of a Pearl Jam cover band, No Code. They were mediocre, and the lead singer was a bit of a diva-douchebag. While they were setting up I overheard him bitching about my 'hood, saying he hated Manayunk and was never coming here again. I think he was pissed he had to walk down a hill. Um, uh...not sure how we're gonna make it without his presence, but we'll try to go on...
Yesterday I hung with Tree and the kids and John Thomas (Mandy's 4 year old - holy cow he's one of the cutest kids ever!), and Quran (one of the boys from her school...a sweetheart). We did the mall, Manayunk, then caught up at her home. I had such a blast with them!
I just had a painful conversation with my mom...I was getting 'lectured' because I don't have a job or health insurance. I know she's coming from a loving place, and she kept saying that she was just 'worried' about me, but I'm still upset about it. I guess I'll just have to be ok with the fact that neither her nor my father will ever be as happy with my 'station in life' as they are with the rest of my siblings. But there's nothing I can do about it. I still feel incredibly blessed to have all that I do. I have much more than I need. So...life is good, man...

Day 2...

I'm LOVIN' it! Another 'easy' day today; 3 clients in the city and all pets did very well! It didn't hurt that it was a gorgeous day too. It's so fascinating to me how the neighborhoods change...from 4th & Poplar to 3rd & Spruce to 3rd & Snyder...it's so interesting.
Took Jack out for a while and he made a few more friends. Then gym and now here at Mugshots b/c my stupid computer won't connect to the internet at home.
I watched Boy With the Stiped Pajamas yesterday...OMG...so good and moving. It makes me so SICK and SAD to think that humans could treat each other that way...I cannot fathom the kind of thinking that Hitler and his followers had when they subjected Jewish people to such horrors and atrocities. I truly believe that they all had missing or severely damaged souls.
I also caught part of the History Channel's show about Nostradamus and 2012. Scary to think that so many believe in less than 2 years the world as we know it will end...I'm certainly not prepared for that possibility. So...does that mean I can take the trips I want, guilt-free? Should I cash out my 401K and enjoy my time...what little there may be left? I'd like to think we'll all be here for a long, long time and continue to learn from our mistakes, but who knows? I'm happy enough right now, though, and that's good enough for me...for now...