CJ

It's been a long, long time. I think I'm writing this out more for me than anything else. I can't get CJ off my mind. And I just put some leftover 9-Lives & dry food out for Jack to see if he'll eat it. CJ should be eating it. He should still be here. And I can't bring myself to quite accept the fact that he's not. Saying I miss him doesn't seem to adequately capture how I feel. I know, I know...he was a cat. But if you had the pleasure of meeting or spending anytime with him, you'd know that he was the absolute coolest, sweetest, most affectionate, social, and funny-as-hell cat ever.
CJ came into my life early in 2004. I came home from Main Street and he was sitting on my front steps. I bent down, pet him, and told him he was cute...unlocked my door, and in he ran! Little bugger. I put out some tuna and newspaper in a box, and then hung some flyers. No one claimed him (a charmer like that? so hard to believe!). He made himself at home and really took to Jack. He'd even push himself up on his hind legs, place his front paws around Jack's head, and hug him (he'd also clean his ears at times!). And Jack seemed to have no problem with it at all. 
CJ was the easiest cat...never sick or destructive. The worse things he would do involved decapitated mice, deceased birds, and his extreme desire to escape every time I opened a door! He eventually became an indoor-outdoor cat (complete with collar & bell), and you could see his joy at being outside. He made friends with everyone he met, even venturing into the church rectory & school (to help, of course) on the corner of my street. When I came home and took Jack for a walk, CJ would find us and walk with us. People couldn't believe their eyes ("is that your cat??" "how did you train him to do that??"). He even hung out at St. Davids with me on a couple of occasions...so frickin' funny.
When Mere & Steph would come over to check on my boys, CJ would turn up his antics even more (CJ didn't allow Mere to write a legible note...not once!).
Most of the time he was so unassuming...coming to me when he wanted to lay on my lap or play with a string, etc. He loved pizza boxes and bags, and worming his way under the blankets and onto my chest or legs to sleep with me. I loved when he would jump up onto the bed and get so close to my head I could listen to his purring. Or just place one paw somewhere on my face...forehead, eye, whatever, as if to say "hey Mom...what's up."   He made it acutely obvious that he loved me...alot.
And then there were the times I would pick him up and cradle him-much to his dislike most of the time...he would 'yell' at me and stick one of his paws in my face, as if to say "put me down Mommy...I'm a big boy!" He also like to 'announce' when he went #2 in the litter box ("get rid of it Mommy...it stinks!").
I would grab his face and tell him I loved him...and that when Jack was gone I was going to give him all of the attention he deserved. I'm so pissed I don't have that chance. It's just not fair. It's so final, and there's nothing I can do about it. That makes it very difficult for me. I know there are a ton of things I could think of, like 'be grateful for the time you had with him' and 'you gave him a good home' but truthfully those things don't make me feel alot better right now. I AM grateful for the time I had with him...but I want more. I want my CJ back. WTF.
To the man who so kindly and gently picked my CJ up out of the street, thank you, you are a kind soul. To Mere & Steph who wrapped him in a soft blanky and placed him in a nice basket, and then broke the news to me...I really can't tell you how much it helps that it was you...2 of CJ's most favorite people in the world...that helped me face this tragedy. And to Kieran and Grant, who came down on Christmas Eve and helped me bury my CJ, you personify what family is and should be all about.
Will I get another cat? Maybe. But not now. Another cat just can't compare to CJ...he was one of a kind. He is missed...so damn much.

Uh...What's with all of the Feathers??

So I walk in the house tonight with my arms full of stuff, and was greeted with what looked like a vandalized living room. When I surveyed the room, however, I saw that it was LOADED with feathers and several items knocked over and on the floor. "Damn it, CJ!" I thought. You see, my cat has been having a bit of a field day with some of the neighborhood birds. I have found a few deceased (and stinky) ones in my yard; another 'catbird' terrified and injured in my kitchen in front of my fridge, and my poor house/petsitter, Kara was greeted (on her 1st day here, mind you) by a decapitated bird in my yard (evidently she has a history with birds on Smick Street as well!).
So I grabbed the vacuum, got up ALL of the feathers and then put things back in place. Found CJ in the yard (just a-loungin' - he looked so proud of himself, the little sucker) and grabbed him, gave him a lecture, and put him in the house.
Talked to Dom for  a bit, put some soup on, and went up to change. As I was pulling my shirt over my head I heard an awful commotion downstairs! I came running down thinking I'd find either Jack having a seizure (God forbid) or CJ having his way with another bird. What I found was a Mourning Dove, also terrified, perched on my record collection. ('At least this one's still alive!' I thought, very relieved). Ok, so what do I do now???
Ok, I need a box, or a blanket, definitely some gloves. But first, put CJ in the basement so this bird has a chance. Gloves, found one...put a sock on my other hand (yeah, I know). I didn't want to waste anymore time, so I thought I'd do what the guy at the Skuylkill Valley Nature Center rehab did and just pick the bird up. Well...as you can imagine, the dove didn't take to that very well, and started fluttering & flying around like crazy! Scared the living shit out of me and I screamed at the top of my lungs while backing the hell up! Poor thing went straight up into the ceiling (like that game at carnivals where you hit the thingy with the sledghammer and the thingy goes up). There's still a feather stuck to the ceiling...
So then I tried to cover it with a tablecloth, and managed to do so, until it busted out! I didn't think I could shriek like that...you know, so loud and high pitched that you keep hearing it over and over in your head and feel dumber & dumber?? The dove wound up knocking some more stuff down, loosing alot more feathers, and found refuge behind my couch.
After a few more attempts, door openings, shoo-ings, and re-positioning by Mr. dove-man all over my 1st floor (and me talking to him telling him I wasn't going to hurt him), I think we finally came to an understanding (or we were both too tuckered to keep fighting). I gently placed my gloved/socked hands around his wings (and tried not to shit my pants) - and Mr. dove-y-face let me! What a strange but cool feeling to have a bird in your hands (that what she said)...
I placed him outside on one of my ottomans, and then thought twice about leaving him there (he was a bit banged up and had a mark on his head from colliding with my ceiling). But before I could grab him again he was off into the sunset...
More vacuuming, overcooked soup, a confused Jack, but a happy birdy ending!

Helloooooooooo....

It's been such a long time (I was reminded by a good friend tonight). I guess I'll work my way backwards. I had a bit of a breakdown on the way home from work tonight...just a mini...didn't last long. Work has been insane this week. I came back on Friday after an amazing week and a half in Jim Thorpe/Lehighton and not only did I get 4 new payroll/billing areas, but the billing process has changed. It's not horrible, and I work with some really awesome people/women, but I've got so much going on outside work, and when I'm working longer hours, sitting in a cubicle, I feel completely drained (and in pain much of the time) when I'm done, and all of my 'plans' for the evening get postponed due to fatigue. It's pretty frustrating, especially when there are so many things I want to/need to do. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my life (just celebrated 6 years of my 'new' one), but I was having a rare moment of feeling completely overwhelmed during my drive home. I was on the verge of tears a few times, and then (thank you WXPN) I heard Amos Lee's "Windows Are Rolled Down" and immediately started feeling better. Then...I stopped at my parents to pick up some stuff and right away 'Mommy' & 'Daddy' made me feel so much better. I know there are people who take their parents/siblings for granted, and I hope to never get that way. I was reminded again of how incredibly blessed I am to have the parents I do. My friend Nadina has been ill and in the hospital (my parents have unofficially adopted her). My mom spent the entire day cooking meals for Nadina and THEN they contributed to the 'fund'. My parents' generosity never ceases to amaze me. So I left there feeling tons better.
My trip to Jim Thorpe/Lehighton was fabulous. Jack and I drove up on a Tuesday night (he did very well in the car with the exception of being scared when we went under an overpass). Got there around 9pm and hung out with the family/helped do wash, etc. until bedtime. Then helped some more Wednesday and got them off to the airport in the afternoon. Chulu, the 17/18 week-old puppy was a challenge, but so damn adorable. She not only pooped and peed all over the place, but also terrorized the 2 cats by jumping up on the kitchen table and eating their food! She took to Jack right away and wanted to play alot! He did very well, and 'told her off' when he needed to. She would nip at his face/neck for a while, and he would snap at her when it got to be too much, and then she would start kissing his face (as if to say 'I'm sorry...I love you'). My god it was so frickin' precious!
So for the 1st couple of days I did wash and cleaned up poop & pee. I didn't know a tiny pup could have that much poop in her! Mom & Dad came up Thursday to Friday, and I was starting to get into the groove and get Chulu a bit 'trained.' We had a fantastic time and Dad even talked to Michele, who owns Nutritional Needs in Jim Thorpe, for 2 hours! We both really connected with her and learned alot about what we should and shouldn't put into our bodies. I'm hoping it sticks and we both keep our committment to healthier living. Michele is an absolutely amazing woman...I'm so glad we met.  Daisy & Michael came up for the day Sunday (man, we had a blast and even took the pups to the river!) and Tree & the kids (Caeli, Christiane & Roy) came up Tuesday through Thursday (my last day there). We had so much frickin' fun! The kids & Tree were so much fun to be with and they really help alot. The weekend was jam packed with guests (11 women for a bachelorette party, 14 NY police officers...I loved them, a father and daughter in the apartment, and another friend/guest in Jimmy's room!). I never thought I'd be done doing wash! It was alot of work, but meeting all of those people made it worth it. Meeting people is one of my favorite things to do, and there are so many wonderful souls up there. The Mann family are truly amazing people (the owners of the Canalside Guest House http://www.canalside.org/) - you should definitely pay them a visit sometime! A few of my favorite places and people in Jim Thorpe are: Bear Appetite - great restaurant owned by Brian (from NY)...good food (fabulous desserts) and very reasonable; Flights of Fancy (mom's favorite!) - Phil is a great guy and ALWAYS treats us like royalty (and gives us nice discounts as well); Natural Impressions (Terri is character and fun to talk to!); Galerie B & Reinhard Gallery (Jean & Lisa are absolute dolls...love them!); Naturally Yours (fantastic shop with natural, organic, products owned by Jean, who introduced us to Michele...); who owns Nutritional Needs; Moya - one of our favorite restaurants...every single item on the menu is heaven!; Albrights restaurant - another favorite and currently up for sale - I really hope the new owners leave it as is.
Ok, I realize I probably sound like a member of the chamber of commerce! I guess I just love it up there so much and feel so at home when I'm there. It's such a high point for me over the last few months.
Back to reality (and my zipcode)...other than my crazy work schedule, I've got some good things to look forward to: Mom & Gen's birthdays and getting to spend time with the family (and next week Gen & 'the girls'); my trip to Orlando with Mom & Dad for Bobby & Maria's wedding (and a week of sunshine and fun!); seeing Nadina & Colin tomorrow; getting together with my new guitar player to practice some songs; a trip to San Diego to see Kieran, Grant, Aunt Bonnie & Uncle Jim; a trip to Thomas Jefferson's Monticello with a few good friends; and hopefully catching up with some friends I haven't seen in a while (Krysta, Shawn & Sofia, Mere & Steph, etc). The 'good' list is way too long so hopefully my little breakdowns will be few and far between!
Jeez...that was a long one, eh?  :-)

Temporary Innkeeper...

So I'm watching this place up here in Jim Thorpe for the family that owns it...fantastic people! My family has been staying here for years (usually our Mother's Day weekend getaway), and we've become pretty friendly with the family. They are wonderful people who have adopted 2 boys and have recently become proud parents to a 17-week old puppy. She's adorable, but she's giving Jack a run for his money (she likes to nip him on his face/neck...but he tells her off when he gets tired of it). Got here around 9pm last night and helped them get ready to leave today. Took them to the airport in Allentown (I drove a 15-passenger van...and didn't kill myself or anyone else!) and got back here around 5pm. Lots to do when I got back, and walked the pups along the canal (got caught in the pouring rain!), and now we're having some 'quiet' time watching BBC. I'm pooped! I love it up here though...I feel so at home when I come here. It's so beautiful, and rural, and peaceful. It's gonna be a full house this weekend (including about a dozen firemen/policemen, thank you very much!). Should be fun and interesting! Hopefully I'll have some good stories...

The Audition...

Well, no callback, but I had a great time! I'm going to add this to the list of new and great experiences I've had over the past several years. I left at around 9:30 last night and got to the hotel a little after11pm, ordered some food (they really don't know how to make a cheesesteak up there!), watched some telly & went to bed. Had a nightmare that I slept through my audition...thank god for phone alarms!
The people that run the auditions for The Voice did an amazing job. My audition time was 2pm. I got there around noon. They organized us in groups of 10 and were really encouraging and supportive. My group was great...we really got along and laughed alot! We all went in together, and I really thought a few of them were going to get a callback (especially the 19 yr old girl from Harlem...she has a stunningly beautiful voice!). We all sang and we all applauded each other, but were told that none of us were getting a callback. Disappointing? A little. But it really was a smooth and fun audition. And I met some really cool people. And it all only took 3 hours (a HUGE difference from the America's Got Talent audition)! Drove home with no a/c in the car, missed my exit, but made it safely (even if I did lose 30 lbs in water weight!). Took a cold, cold shower and ate some ice cream!
I'm so grateful for this experience, and for all of the support and encouragement I got from my family and friends, and all of the nice things everyone wrote on FB and texted to me. I'm a lucky, lucky girl (and don't worry, I'll keep singing...).  :-)

Yo!

Lord, it's been AGES since I've written. I almost feel guilty. Where do I begin? I'll start with today...frickin' AWESOME day, man! Bill & I went to Alfred's reception at the Knapp gallery in Old City - his artwork is absolutely amazing. What an honor it was to be there. Then Bill & I walked around Old City for a while and ate at Nick's Roast Beef (yum!) where we got to see my boy (Cliff Lee) hit a HOMERUN! Shame they didn't win the game though. Then we drove to Dom & Ali's so I could record a couple of songs. We had a fabulous time, laughed our asses off, and actually got the recording done (thanks to Dom and his genius talent!).
Still working at D&Z - super busy and somewhat stressful at times, but I work with a great group of ladies.
Had a fabulous 4th of July hangin' out with Nadina, Colin and a bunch of our friends. Saw the concert up close, thanks to Ray, danced my ass off, got on the news, met Michael McDonald, and had the perfect spot for the fireworks.
Last night I drove to Bethlehem to see The Machine (Pink Floyd tribute band) with Gene...wow...what a fun time (and the band was pretty damn good as well).
I live a charmed life, don't I? Hopefully it won't be another month before I write again...

Mauch Chunk Adventures...

...otherwise known as Jim Thorpe. Went Tues thru Fri with Mom & Tree, and had a frickin' blast! We stayed at the Canalside Guest House, owned by the Mann family - great, great, great people! Rod, Jen, Shaun, Jimmy and the pets are so much fun to be around. We feel so at home when we're there, and that they are our friends, not just "inn keepers."
If you haven't visited this old town, it's really worth the 75 minute drive. The people are super friendly and there are so many fantastic restaurants and shops and cool/historic things to do. Got to hang out with someone I met about a month & a half ago and he really made the trip that much more enjoyable.
We hiked Glen Onoko one day (mom was a bad ass!) - absolutely beautiful, and paddled a raft 18 miles down the Lehigh River another day. We ate our faces off (omg the food is amazing there) and got to experience the local karaoke...quite an experience. Everyone we talked to (shop owners, waitstaff and managers, locals, river guides) was incredibly nice and interesting. One of my greatest pleasures in life is meeting new people.
My new petsitter is a keeper, too! She made everything so easy for me and really put my mind at ease by taking such great care of my boys.
One 'bad' part of our trip was when the call came yesterday morning that my brother in law, Roy, was being taken to the hospital. He collapsed at work and they're doing tests to find out what's wrong (say some prayers, will ya?).
So overall, a fabulous trip, and so far a fantastic weekend...I'm a lucky girl...

Work, PPA, Good Times...

In about that order...
Went back to D&Z on a temp assignment. So far so good, and it was SOOOOOOOO nice to see my friends...what a warm welcome back I received! My 1st day back, however, I had to leave to go to the evil Philadelphia Parking Authority for an appeal of 2 tickets I got last year. I had pictures, etc., but the 'appeal' was a joke. Basically this douchebag of a hearing officer ignored my evidence and said there was nothing I could do but take it one step further to common pleas. Ok, I'll do it...wait, what? It's $189 to take it to common pleas and it's non-refundable? It think not...not for $107 in tickets. Mothereffers!! It's such a racket...my sponsor said I should do a 4th step on the PPA, but I think I want to continue despising them for now!!  LOL!
So the 1st 2 days of work were good...I'm doing payroll/billing/etc. and the people I'm working with are awesome! I think I'll enjoy this more than my last temp gig there.
Last night I got to hang out with some really great people and got to see some friends I haven't seen in a while...a fantastic way to start the weekend! I really love my life...and to quote my girl Christin: "I'm so happy right now!"  :-)

Heads Up

Not much to say today (except boring crap), so I'll give y'all a little heads up. I was in an accident on May 23rd (not serious). The other driver was at fault and there was minimal damage to my car. Several days ago, I got a call from a victims rights organization, warning me that because I was in an accident in Philadelphia, that I would be getting a bunch of calls from 'doctors' offices offering me 'free' services. At first I was skeptical of this group, but I'm so glad I talked to them. I've been INUNDATED with calls from these creeps! So frickin' shady, man. So this is how it works: if you're in an accident in Philadelphia and file a police report, the report goes to the 'roundhouse' (Victims Rights: "Are you familiar with it"; Kathleen: "Um, yes, unfortunately I am") and then it goes to city hall and becomes part of public record. So these creeps can call anyone who was in an accident and harrass them. The report said noone was hurt, but I guess they don't care. I didn't answer any of the calls (except one, who I promptly hung up on after hearing "we can offer you free medical..."), but they were incessant!
So beware, my friends...and be safe!

What Bike Race?

Hola. Jeez, another week has gone by, right? I really need to get on finding an internet provider so I don't have to come to Saxbys...
The past several days have been fab! Got to hang out with Pat & Suzy Wednesday night and had a fantastic time! There's this guy, Matt, who does acoustic songs at Bourbon Blue starting at 9pm...check him out...he's really good!  Had the parents and Tree & the kids over for burgers, dogs, etc. Thursday night. I was running around like a nut preparing, but we had a great dinner and a great time! 'Little' Roy spend the night, all day & night with me Friday, and stayed over again Friday night. Man, that kid is a gem. He was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good. He's a fantastic raconteur, and has an incredible imagination. We had a blast. I had to sleep in my guest room Friday night, though, because my face and his feet don't get along too well!  I talked to his big sister a couple of times and she seems to be doing better, but time will only tell if she will remain clean and start doing what she's supposed to be doing.
Saturday afternoon I spent at Rich & Em's for the annual Alex's Lemonade Stand. It was a great day and there was a good turnout. Wound up hanging out with the Lamberts til the bitter end and then grabbing hibachi at Fuji...wow...so good and so fun! I love hanging out with them...they're really amazing and super funny to watch.
Sunday was the infamous bike race. I had a stellar day despite that fact. Walked up Green Lane to catch a ride with Daisy and we picked up Debi and met Erin & Nadina & Colin for brunch at the Trolley Car. It was really nice to get out of town and hang out with these amazing ladies...lots of laughs, great conversation, and great food!  Hung out with Debi for a bit before trecking home through a few drunks to feed Jack. Then went to Dom & Ali's to hang out with the fam for a few hours...what a GREAT time! He has such a nice warm, and hospitable family. His boys are adorable too. So I didn't have to 'suffer' in Manayunk on Sunday! I'm so lucky to have such great friends...tru dat.
Dad & I went to Nadina's for a while today and I got some one-on-one time with Colin...what a good boy...and SO adorable! Then I got some real quality time with dad at the HJ for lunch. I cherish this time I get to spend with him.
And tonight? Going to watch my boy Cliff pitch with Suzy...should be a fun evening.
Do I have the life or what???!! Tomorrow may be a different story, but right now I'm feeling pretty damn blessed...

Holy $#!&!

Wow...so my prayers worked! I asked that my dad would get better at asking his kids for help, and he called me this morning and asked me to help him! Whoohoo! I know how hard it must have been for him, but I am soooooo relieved that he knows he can depend on me (us) for help.
I'm sitting here at Starbucks on South Street trying to get some research done, and enjoying the a/c and the sites! Life is good...I really have it good, man.
I learned/confirmed last night that I still have some 'work' to do on myself as far a a couple of ex-'boyfriends' - I've been holding on to resentments against them and I know it will jam me up if I don't do something about it. I want to continue getting better and happier, so I know this has to be done.
Got a bunch of stuff to look forward to this week: chaperoning my niece Christiane's class trip tomorrow; dinner with a few friends; making my special burgers for the family Thursday night...and of course there's a bit of 'work' throw in there a couple of times. Then the weekend...! Rock on!

Happy Memorial Day...

Well, it's been a really great weekend, with some twists. I feel like I'm in a strange place, but I'm ok. I helped my parents with some yard work (really got a good workout), but my dad finds it hard to ask for help, and he's pretty stubborn and wants to do alot of things himself. It makes me so sad because he's in pain ALL OF THE TIME and I get frustrated that he won't ask for help. Out of my control though, ya know? I just have to try to be persistent in my offering to help.
Another bit of frustrating news...found out that my niece relapsed and left the Salvation Army. She had only 5 weeks until graduation and she f#$%^#ed the whole thing up...and for what??!! A needle and seeming relief from her oh-so-hard life. Such bullshit. I'm sick about it but I've talked (and yelled a bit) to her and it's really important that she knows I'm not giving up on her. I'm trying to talk to her not as her aunt, but as someone in recovery who knows how important a little bit of hope can be. I told her to make a gratitude list every day and read from the 'big book', even if it's only a page a day.
On to more pleasant things...Daisy's birthday party was a rousing success...we had a blast! And the look on her face when she opened 'the gift' was TOTALLY worth it!! Great people...great times.
6809 picnic was fun, and Jack ate lots of good stuff (and some vanilla icecream!). Hung out with Suzy afterwards and had so much fun!
Movies today and a bit of shopping...I really do lead a charmed life and am so grateful for my friends and family.
Ok, I don't want to spend the rest of my afternoon in a coffee shop, so I'm off. Talk soon...

Oh Monday...wth...

So I was in a car accident today...got hit by a girl on 7th at Vine. And you know what?? I didn't freak out - I was actually nice to her. 6 years ago it would have been a totally different story. The past week has been good. Actually made it to the gym a couple of times (thank goodness!). George & Brendan fixed my stairs (no more crooked trips up the steps!) - they ROCK!!! Had a little party Friday night then headed over to Milkboy to see the Wanderlust reunion. Man...what a great time! I really enjoyed hearing the old songs (great, great memories) and their new ones are really good! Got to see the Arctic Monkeys Wednesday night...(and made a friend...cool chick from England) - what an unbelievable show!
Hung out with my sister and her family Saturday afternoon at the Maris Street block party...Jack and I had a good time! I need to start thinking about what I'm going to do for my 'future'...singer? counselor? start my own dog walking business? work for the Phillies? Who knows, but at least I know there are possibilities today.
Yesterday I went to Bobby & Maria's engagement party at the Brew Pub. Wow...what fabulous time!
I got to meet Maria and her family, and what wonderful, warm and friendly people they are! And I got to see Bobby's family again...I just love them. I'm so happy that 2 great people have found each other (can't wait for the wedding in Florida!!).
Ok, gotta run before the PPA gets me!

Weekend with the Girls...

First I'll start with a wonderful thing I saw today while walking my little buddies...
We were in the park and I came upon a baby bird being fed by it's mama bird...I was stopped in my tracks and think I even said "Aaawww" out loud. The tiny bird's wings fluttered as it took food from it's mommy's (or daddy's) beak...it was such a beautiful thing to see. Thanks HP...
This past weekend was fabulous! I got to spend it with my mom and her sisters (Aunt Marge, my Godmother, Aunt Fran, and Aunt Dee). We had a BLAST!!! The house we stayed in (courtesy of cousins Chris squared) is amazing! We ate our faces off, spent some time in Jim Thorpe (always a great time there), and laughed our asses off! We even got to watch our Phillies beat the Braves (Friday night's game was a good one!). We met some really interesting people and got an in-depth history lesson at the Harry Packer mansion. I'm so lucky to have these fabulous women in my life...really. Even with not-so-great weather, we managed to have a splendid time. And to top it off, Randi & Dakota came and stayed with Jack and CJ, which was a HUGE deal to me...thanks wom!!!     Can't wait until the next one!
I'm in-between dog walks and the chiropractor's office, and taking advantage of this time to catch up. I really need to get internet at home...it's so much more convenient.
I've got some catching up to do at home (wash, furniture building, yard-work, etc.), and I'm going to see The Arctic Monkeys tomorrow night (whoohoo!!). Should be a fun and productive week...

Side Street Catchup...

I ran into my friend Greg, and we always seem to be catching up on the side streets of Manayunk, so we thought this would be a cool coffeeshop name...(no one steal it, ok?). Well, my guests arrived at 2am Tuesday morning and we definitely had an interesting visit. Sue & I had the opportunity to really catch up and bond Friday, so that made the trip totally worth it for me. Love that girl. We bbq'ed Thursday (and Krysta, Shawn & Sofia came too!) and then went to the Phillies game...really fun! I absolutely LOVE the Phillies this year...I think I'm a bit obsessed (was even going to buy the MLB pkg from DirecTV until I learned that the games are subject to blackouts). Hopefully they will live up to their expectations!
I went to Bartrum Gardens for the first time Saturday...what a treasure, and I never knew it existed until Daisy invited me. Bought a membership....this place is definitely worth preserving. I stayed in and watched the Phils beat the Braves Saturday night...and frankly I was utterly exhausted and couldn't do anything else. Did a whole bunch of gardening, etc. yesterday (I even hung window boxes...and CJ jumped on one this morning and knocked it off...little f%#$er!). The house is really coming along...I'm so excited and loving it more each day. Watched the Phils lose to the Braves last night (my next door neighbor is from Georgia, so I know he's happy that they took the series). Today has been relatively stress-free and absolutely gorgeous! 2 dog walks and a bit of work at the doc's office.
Should be a great week...holla!!

Sunshine, Freedom, Justice, and Baseball...

So much to catch up...where do I start? I'll start with justice & baseball...
My new friend, Ryan, (who works at the ball park) came to give us the news...we got Bin Laden. I was stunned, overjoyed, on the verge of tears, and then I thought he may be messing with me. He took me out to the tv in the lounge and we watched for a few minutes. OH...MY...GOD...it was true! I rushed in to tell Suzy and quickly the word started to spread. Debi pointed out that it was in the 9th inning, and the score was 1-1 (freaky, eh?). Then the stadium was filled with chants of 'USA! USA! USA!' - it was one of most incredible experiences I've ever had. And I can't think of a better place to be...hangin' in the Hall of Fame Club watching my boys play! So if we had to lose (14 innings, and we stayed for the entire game!), at least it was a New York team.
Yesterday was my brother's birthday, and we celebrated with dinner and cake (from Zakes...YUM!) at their house and then Jake's baseball game. Good times, good times. Then off to see my peeps and then home to make the final preparations for my house guests, Sue & Jonathan. They got in around 2am and it was SO great to see Sue and meet Jonathan (a sweetheart!). They're off to A.C. today/tomorrow so I'll have some more time to get some stuff done. The house looks great, thanks to George, Simon, and some help from Randi (and Dakota)! I'm so, so, so, so, so, so happy!  Which brings me to sunshine and freedom...
As some of you know, I've been pretty stressed about getting ready, but today as I was leaving a message for my sis, I became so grateful that #1 - the sun is shining (always a mood-lifter for me) and #2 - I was not sitting in a stuffy cubicle. I was outside, walking 2 adorable pups, in a really cool park in No. Libs. I...LOVE...MY...LIFE...! Now, all I need is to get a job working for the Phillies, and I'll be set!!  :-)

Renovations, Visitors, Phils!

Lord, it's been forever since I've last written! I've been so busy with my house renovations (well, George & Simon have been busy, and doing a fantastic job!). I'm now working on putting the decorating touches together...a lot of shopping took place this week! It's great to finally have this moving along, and I have Sue & her bf to thank for giving me the kick in the ass I needed! They're coming in very late Monday night and leaving Saturday afternoon. Should be a wild, crazy, and sleepless week! I'm really looking forward to hanging with her and catching up! Bought Phils tix for Thursday's game (fingers crossed that my boy is pitching!). Had an absolutely wonderful Easter with the family, and Dad's birthday the Thursday prior. Not sure if you remember me talking about my brother a while back, but there was a profoundly touching moment that night. My parents made 2 sizable donations, one to St Bridgets church and one to Food for the Poor (for a house and outhouse for a family in Haiti) in Anna Elisabeth's memory (my brother's daughter who passed away 10 years ago). It's really hard for me to put into words what is was like. My parents' act of kindness moved my brother to tears (not an easy task to accomplish) and so, of course, the rest of us were
crying. In the same moment, I felt extreme pride for my parents and the example for living that they have set for their children, and overwhelming love for my brother. It's one of those moments that will choke me up everytime I think of it, and that I will remember forever.
Easter was at Rich & Em's, and the weather was great! They did an awesome job of feeding us and we had lots of fun and laughs!
Monday began my shopping insanity, and I still have a ton to do (so what am I doing here at Saxby's??)...so I'm going to try not to panic.
This morning I met the doc at the Linc to set up for the Broad Street Run expo for tomorrow and Saturday. Should be a fun and interesting experience!
I'll check in (hopefully sooner than later) and let you know how the visit goes...!

A Horse, 2 dogs, some work, and a homer...

I'm sitting in a really cool coffee shop/cafe (2 floors) in Northern Libs catching up before my last dog walk of the day. The house is coming along VERY nicely...George is THE BEST and Simon is moving along painting (doing a very nice job!). Took my 2 little pups for their 1st walk today and went by the horse stable (I think it belongs to Phila Trolley Works) and a beautiful, white horse came right up to the fence to say hi! I was like "Oh my God!!" (if you know me, you know that I really did say this). We hung out for a few minutes petting him/her and feeding him/her grass. It was such a wonderful moment for me. Then I went to the doctors' office for a bit more work, and then to Pub n Grub to eat and watch the Phillies...and thanks to Shane's homer we won!! I was cheering and clapping and I was all by myself...but I don't care...I'm not embarassed by this kind of thing (and again, if you know me, you know this is true). I still have to get my ass to the gym...haven't been since Sunday and I've really gotten behind (and speaking of behinds, mine will start to grow if I don't get there!). Ok, back to Calvin & Cooper (and maybe another pop over to see my horse friend!).  :-)

Catching up at Saxbys...

I know it's been almost another week, but what can I say...I have to come to a coffee shop to get on the internet, although it's not a bad deal...
The 'new' Saxbys is pretty nice, cleaner, new furniture...and it's nice to have my old 'hang' back.
I had a fantastic week! My only complaint is that I didn't get to do everything I had planned to...I kept running out of hours in the day (I'm serious...this really does happen my friends). Did the dog walking gig and the medical practice gig all week. (I got in trouble with my dog-walking boss...seems I missed a walk this week...LORD did I feel bad about it!). Mom & I went to see "39 Steps" at the Walnut Street Theatre Tuesday night after a meal at Bourbon Blue, and we ran into my dear friend Eric and his pal Jarrod.  It was a great production and we had a lot of laughs! Wednesday mid-day I had a 'day date' with someone I met in Cape May...and I have to confess...I was a wreck beforehand! It occured to me that if someone expresses an interest in me who I am not necessarily interested in (at least not yet), I go on the defensive. It has ALOT to do with my previous relationships and my lack of knowing how to establish boundaries. I'm just glad that I'm at least aware of it and hopefully I'll try not to be so nutso in the future! We wound up having a nice time...and I'm glad I went. Thursday was a busy, busy work day and I didn't get home and settled until much later than I expected. Friday started my fantastic weekend...I had 2 walks and then went-a-shopping at IKEA. I made out like a BANDIT and even drove home from Columbus Blvd with a load in my car and a sofa on the roof (which I fastened myself, ahem...). Yes, it was a bit nerve-wracking driving on 676 and Kelly Drive with a sofa tied to my roof, but I did it and was pretty damn pleased with myself! I spent the evening with Dom & Ali...dinner at Carrabbas (sp?) and then a blues band. We had a blast...but I always do with them...and we laughed our asses off! "You're a mess!" (Ali to Dom); "But she can hear a little, right?" (Dom, after I mentioned that our waitress might be deaf), and so on. Did this and that Saturday, and went through one of my 'totes' (full-o-crap) from the basement. Found some old trophies and alot of 'back-in-the-day' clothes. Like my Roxborough Eagles cheerleading jacket (OMG, so small...I almost cried), my Philadelphia Children's Theatre jacket (with "Annie" embroidered on the front...another 'ahem'), a few Duran Duran shirts (courtesy of the Ocean City boardwalk), a Pee Wee Herman t-shirt, and ...drumroll please...an MC Hammer "Can't Touch This" t-shirt...I almost peed my pants!
Later on was dinner at Bourbon Blue and "Limitless" afterwards with G&D...a GREAT movie! Today was spent back at IKEA (thank you Miss Daisy!) and then putting furniture together, while G worked on sheetrocking the guest room. MAN I am lucky to have the friends I do...seriously...they are the best!
Ok, I think I covered everything...hopefully it won't be another week before I write again...

Damn technology!

Still can't get on the internet at home, so I'm down here at Starbucks trying my damndest to catch up on all things internet. It's Monday afternoon & it's a glorious day! The weekend was great! A new friend (met in Cape May) came down Friday night, and I got to spend some quality one-on-one time with my friend Kevin...man, we had a blast and laughed alot!! Saturday was the grand opening of Fairmount Family Integrative Medicine and it was a great success! Then Bill & I went to Theresa O'Shea's surprise birthday party (thrown by Andy, Theresa, & Tom) - what a fantastic time! I'm really, really glad I went. Then I spent 2 hours on the phone with a new friend (also met in Cape May). Yesterday I went to see Jane Eyre (fanTAStic movie!!) at the Ritz 5 with friends, and George came over both days to work on my house. Life is really moving along rather pleasantly, I must say. I've got so many things to be grateful for, and so many things to look forward to! SHAMALAMADINGDONG my friends!!!!

Where've I Been??

It's been a week since I've been able to get on the internet! And I'm at Starbucks now trying to catch up before they close in 20 minutes! Anyhoo...the past week has been fabulous! I had a wonderful weekend in Cape May at the Round Up with my friends and roomies (SO much fun...we laughed our hinees off) and I met a ton of great peeps and made a few new friends. I never would have thought that voluneering and being in service would be so much fun. And I was lucky enough to have Erin and Mere keep my boys company over the weekend.
This week has been really busy so far with dog walks and getting ready for the grand opening (of the practice in it's new location) on Saturday (Fairmount Family Integrative Medicine...right across from the art museum...check it out!).
Tuesday night I took Mom to see Amos Lee at the Merriam (with the Secret Sisters opening). What...a...stellar...show!! The Secret Sisters were amazing...their voices give me the goosebumps. I went out to meet them during the break and got their autographs (listen, they worked with Jack White...I had to do it!) - what sweet girls they are. If you haven't heard their stuff, give them a listen. Then Amos Lee & his band blew me & Mom away...his talent is unbelievable...and he's from Philly, yo! "Mission Bell" is his best album since his first...check it out!
I just went to a meeting of Friends of Pretzel Park at Bourbon Blue...there were only 4 of us there, but it feels good to get involved, especiallly since it's my community and my Jack really likes the park.
I really can't believe how busy and happy I am, especially since I'm unemployed. Seriously, this is the happiest I've been in a long time. AND....the Phillies are doing well and CLIFF LEE is pitching tomorrow night...it will be a fabulous start to the weekend!

3/29

So, yesterday was my birthday. At this point in my life, I don't necessarily look forward to them as much as I used to. It's not that I'm not happy, because I am. It's just that the older we get, the less we want to know how much older we're getting. But really, it's just a number, because I certainly don't feel (or act) my age! My bestie, Randi, insisted on planning something. Begrudgingly I allowed her to. She's just so thoughtful that she wants it to be a special day. Well, folks, IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!! My day started with some coffee and yogurt, oh, and lots of sunshine! Then off to a few pet-sitting gigs. Got some really nice text messages and calls from friends and family too. Then to work at the doctors' office, then home to walk Jack and shower/get ready. Tanya had some beautiful flowers delivered and Mom & Dad got me my 1ST FLATSCREEN TV! Kier & Grant got me a dvd player, Rich, Em & the boys spoiled me with a very large denomenation gift card, and Tree made me a beautiful necklace & earrings. But that's not the best part...
Mom picked me up and we headed down to Bourbon Blue for 'the event.' Gen was there to greet us and Randi had decorated the tables with jellybeans and other various items (and a cake - so cute!). Randi joined us and then the friends and family started pouring in. Rich, Tree & Roy, Aunt Marge, Tricia, Shelly, Krysta, Shawn & Sofia, George, Andy & Kym, & Eric. Just a few of the people in my life that I love dearly. I cannot express how it makes me feel that these people gave up their time to come spend a few hours with me. I am humbled and overwhelmed by their show of love. And that of those who could not be there but let me know that they were thinking of me (Debi, Mere, Steph, Melissa, Pat, Tan, Kier, Grant, Suzy, Sue, Aunt Fran,  Daisy, Gary, Tim, Chris, Patty, Christiane, just to name a few). Oh, and then I came home and got on the 'puter for for 1st time yesterday and was stunned to see all of the FB messages!!
I know that people have their own lives and it's so difficult to keep in touch the way we'd like to (good thing for texting, and FB!), but just knowing that I'm thought of and remembered is such an incredible blessing. I, for one, think of many of my friends much, much more often than I'm able to call.
So, I feel very loved and special and I'm going to carry that with me. So how can life be anything but fabulous, man...SHAMALAMADINGDONG!!!

Um...Yum?

So how's this for contradictory? I'm eating potato chips and strawberries/grapes. I have the munchies, and no, not as a side effect (heehee). It's been a while since I've written...my friend Pat just gave me a kick in the hinee. I was thinking how awesome my life is. I'm really loving it right now. Dog walking is easy, even if the pay is not worth the driving; the PR/marketing stuff I'm doing is going well and fun!; I get to stay up late, sleep past 8am, avoid rush hour traffic, and pretty much do whatever my little heart desires. I really have it good right now. I got to spend time with my 2 sisters this weekend, and had breakfast with 3 fabulous girlfriends, and even managed to get some 'productive' things done. Randi has planned a really cool b'day gathering tomorrow night (thanks Wom!) so I get to see a bunch of my friends and family (I swear, if it weren't for Randi I probably wouldn't plan anything). I'm going to Cape May this weekend (and my friend Erin will be keeping my boys company). So I really have alot to look forward to...
Now back to my late night snack!

Work!

So the dog-walking gig is good (but the driving is not), and I started doing some PR/Marketing this week for my chiropractor's office (it's actually an integrated medicine practice). I went around Fairmount introducing myself, handing out flyers and inviting the community to the grand opening on April 9th. SO MUCH FUN! I love meeting new people and they were all very friendly! Philadelphia is such a diverse and fascinating city. So many different neighborhoods, types of architecture, culture galore, etc. I'm am so curious and interested walking and driving around.
Randi has been tirelessly planning my b'day dinner next week...she's so thoughtful. I'm really looking forward to hangin' out and grubbin' with my friends and mom at Bourbon Blue!
More to catch up on, but I...am...pooped...
Time to rest now.

My Family...

What a great day for me...I got to talk to practically my entire family (immediate) today: Kieran, Mom, Tree, & Rich. My brother...Rich (or "RICHAAARRRDDDD) as sometimes he is affectionately called) called me today while I was at the gym. Got me thinking about our relationship. Just the fact that he picked up the phone to call me (as he often does these days) for no other reason than to just say hi and catch up, really makes me so grateful to have him for a brother. Richard is a man of very few words most of the time, unless he likes you/is comfortable with you (and even then he can be stingy with his words), or unless he is sending you a letter about how you're adopted and were intially 'raised' by a pack of wild dogs (one of the funniest things I've ever read!). My brother holds a very, very special place in my heart. It's not that I don't love my sisters, but my relationships with each of my siblings is different. I have I guess what I would call a tenderness, or soft spot for my brother. Maybe partly due to the fact that he's the only boy (and Theresa and I would sometimes gang up on him when we were little). Perhaps another reason is the tragedy he and his wife suffered in 2000. They don't talk about it (esp. Richard) so please don't say anything if you happen to see one of them. My niece, Anna Elisabeth, was born on July 20th, 2000 and died on July 26th. There was something wrong with her heart and she was operated on at St. Christopher's Hospital. They gave her an 80% chance of survival, so when the doctor came in and broke the news that she was gone, it was totally and utterly heart-shattering. I will never, ever, ever forget the effect it had on my brother. When I think about it even a decade later, it brings me to tears and I would do anything to remove that pain from his life.
Miraculously, he and Em had another baby boy (Owen, now almost 9, little brother to Jake, almost 13). But my brother kind of crawled inside of himself as far as Anna was concerned. We rarely (if ever) spoke of her with him. I can understand not wanting to experience the pain. Every year, however, since her death, he and his family host a fundraiser in her honor. For the past several years they have hosted an Alex's Lemonade Stand and have immense success (so much so that they were featured on the front page of their local newspaper last year!). To withstand that kind of pain, and do something good with it deserves the utmost respect (from me, at least). My brother is still one of the funniest people on this planet, and with fabulous taste in music! And my relationship with him (better now in my  'new' life) is one that I cherish, treasure, and hold in a very special place in my heart. I LOVE YOU RICHAAAARRRRRDDDDD!

7am & Pancakes...

Yup...I was up at 7am this morning. I met my parents at Applebees in Andorra for an all-you-can-eat pancake & sausage breakfast to benefit the Sisters of St. Joseph's Welcome Center. I only had one helping, thank you very much...
Yesterday was a glorious day! After my noon dog walk, I scooped Jack up and hung out outside for many hours. Met my friend Pat (and Randi & Dakota joined us for a bit) as well. Main Street was loaded with people and dogs and lots of sunshine! Took Jack home to rest, eat, and then met Krysta, Shawn, Sofia, Andy & Kym for a bit at Stbx on Main, then off to see some friends. I'm on the lookout for a guitar player (has to be pretty proficient) that can sing as well...I'm going to really try to dedicate myself to singing more often. Why not? I keep asking HP what it is I should be doing, and singing just comes naturally to me, so I have to give it a shot, right? If it doesn't work out then I'll know it wasn't meant to be...
Today's gonna be another great day! Shamalamadingdong...

St. Patty's Day and Other Random Thoughts...

Gorgeous day for us Irish folks, eh?  I cannot describe the joy I feel when I see flowers pushing up through the ground and blooming on the trees! Yay for Spring!! I've been taking Ridge Ave home from No. Liberties and I'm fascinated and amused by many of the signs I see. I'm thinking of taking photos during my travels. If so, you'll be sure to see the one that reads "Cuts Dat Flo" - love it.
Had a good workout at the gym (I think a boy was flirting with me too), and took Jack for a nice (slow) walk along Main St. As I passed by Kildare's I was so turned off by it and how packed it was (judgemental, eh?) but then I thought...hey, they're having a good time. Just because it's not MY idea of a good time doesn't mean it's not for them, right? That said, I'd much rather be where I am now than there, any day.
Ok, time to relax and get ready for the WEEKEND!!

Ugh...

Well, joy can be fleeting, but so can misery. I went to bed last night and read for a bit, and then fell asleep sometime around midnight. Jack got me up at around 7:30am to pee, and then I had an extremely difficult time getting out of bed...the old pattern. I wake up grumpy and sore and think "if I can just sleep for a few minutes more..." blah, blah, blah. But I don't sleep. My brain races and I get to feeling guilty for staying in bed, and thus grumpier (and more sore from staying in the same position). What the hell is wrong with me? I want to WANT to get up early, and take full advantage of the day. Maybe I need to be hypnotized...
Once I got started I was raring to go. Had some coffee, left for my 1st dog walk (and had a great time w/ the pups), hung out at a coffee shop across from Eastern State Penitentiary, met with my chiropractor, shot over to the art museum to check out the George Inness exhibit for a bit, went to my 2nd dog walk, hit the gym, took Jack to the park (and had a lovely conversation with Dee), picked up my salad from Couch Tomato (yummy), coaxed Jack to eat a bit, and am now sitting here eating and getting ready to watch Justified. A pretty full day for someone unemployed, eh? But if I can get my ass out of bed earlier I'd be a happier chicken. What started as a poopie day is ending up as a good one, so good thing I know that my grumpy mood won't last long. I met a little 4 year-old girl in the park on one of my walks today who was a riot. She wanted to meet the pups I was walking and then proceeded to talk my ear off. So much personality for such a little soul. She said "If my parents loved me they would let me get a big dog to watch out for me" and "my daddy doesn't care about me...I can go wherever I want" - interesting coming from a little person.
Well, here's hoping that tomorrow starts earlier than today...

Aunt Dee & Aunt Stacy

Well, it has been a lovely day, my friends. Went with Mom to visit Aunt Dee and have lunch and we had a great time. Aunt Dee is so funny! Lots of laughs...
Went to the gym (I could easily work out for a long time as long as they play "The Hangover" in the 'movie room'!), and then took Jack down to Main Street for a very nice visit with "Aunt" Stacy (she spoils him!).
Busy day tomorrow...couple of dog walks and an appointment with my awesome chiropractor...
I'm SOOOOOOO excited that Spring begins this weekend...it's gonna be a good one and an even better summer!!!!

PPA=Poop Poop Ass

So I spent 3 hours at the Parking Authority today. Hearing scheduled for 11:45, finally got seen by a hearing officer at 2:30. Yeah, that's how they roll. That outfit is a racket, man! Their sole purpose is to make our lives miserable and get our money. I considered myself successful today, despite the annoying experience. Paid one ticket (it was legit), got one dismissed (deservedly so, but she acted like she was doing me a favor) and am appealing the other 2 (bs tix, fo sho!). Instead of letting myself get upset (like the dude that got escorted out by the sheriff...he kept yelling "you have my discovery"), I made 2 friends and kept a positive attitude. Got some stuff done after, fed Jack (he ate!), went to the gym, then to see some friends, grilled for Jack and he ate again (!), and am now unwinding on my sofa. A good day, all in all. Tomorrow I get to have lunch with Mom & Aunt Dee...should be a nice time. I really do have it good...maybe Grandmom was looking down on me today keeping me in check (today's her birthday).
Last night I finished reading Maya Angelou's "I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings" - wow...what an amazing story. I was stunned when I realized that I had read the last paragraph. You know it's a great book when you want it to keep going, and are bummed when it doesn't.  I'm trying to decide what to read next. I started a new 'habit' - I have a book in bed and read before going to sleep. I had gotten out of the habit when I started driving again (2 things that are very good for reading: public transportation and weekends in the clink!). So I'm really glad I've been reading again...I enjoy it so much!

Gratitude & a Clean Terlit...

As I was scrubbing my shower, I thanked my Creator for the willingness and energy to clean my bathroom. Wha??? Seriously though, I think because of my upbringing I've developed a resistance to cleaning (some may call this phenomenon "laziness"). For me, being productive around the house is indicitave of more than wanting to check things off of my list...it's a hopeful feeling. And on a side note - Jack just ate some more! Wow...this positive thinking must be contagious! Ok...off to shower in my clean bathroom and head to Eric's partay!

Still Here...

Well, Jack is sticking around for a bit, at least so far. He ate a few things yesterday and finally ate some beef that I grilled for him, some chicken broth, and a couple of treats from Aunt Stacy. Took him to the dog park both yesterday and today and for walks, and he's moving slow, but he's alert and his tail wags when he makes 'friends.' He also seemed to enjoy himself while Andy and I ate at the Turkish place on Main Street (so yummy!).
So I treated myself to a good workout today and then a yummy grilled cheese. Getting some stuff done around the house and paying some bills as well. I noticed all of the partiers out today (St. Patty's day celebrations) and am so grateful I don't have to participate in the stupidity - LOL! I'm gonna lay low tonight and go to bed early...gotta get up at 5-ish and drive my friend to the airport...vacation in San Diego...I'm so jealous!

Update

It's Thursday night and I'm sitting here on my couch next to my boy, Jack. My head hurts...crying does that...gives me a wicked, wicked headache (maybe that's why I don't do it too often). I picked him up from WCVH (the best vet, by the way...AND they pick you up if they see you walking on Ridge Ave!). After another full day of getting IV fluids. He didn't eat, and he's still not eating. If he doesn't eat soon I may have to make a very painful decision. Trigger, my 1st dog (and Jack's 'brother') died after 3 1/2 years. He had a bad heart and died upstairs in my bathroom. Sampson (Sammie), a dog I took in from a family who couldn't keep him, died in my kitchen in July, 2005. Little One, my tiny little kitty, had to be put down in January 2009. So what is worse, finding your beloved pet dead, or having to give the go-ahead for the needle and watching the life drain out of your pet? I don't know. I've experienced both. But I do know this...I've had Jack for most of his life...about 14 1/2 years. We've had our ups and downs - mostly ups. There have been challenges and regrets on my part (I could have been a better & more patient mommy at times). But through it all, he's never stopped loving me unconditionally (even when he was peeing on my bed - LOL!). And as mad as I got at him sometimes, I got un-mad real quick. He's one of the best-tempered creatures on this earth, and a cute as can be. I really can't imagine coming home to a house without Jack. He's more popular than me down on Main Street! This is so hard...I pray that I get the guidance to do the right thing.
I want to thank Jen for the ride yesterday, my parents for letting me borrow the van, the 'girls' for a great night out and catching up last night, all of my friends for their kind words, support, and understanding...and Andy for getting me back online...(whoohoo!).

Jack

He's not doing well. I took him to the vet yesterday for more bloodwork, and his levels are twice as high as they were back in December. When he got sick in December, I prayed that I would have some more time with him, and I got it. And we've had some really fun and funny times. I have to brace myself for the possibility that his time is ending...it's really hard. I'm really sad right now...poor little guy. I hate the thought that he's in pain and suffering, but I can't imagine my home without him in it. He's been with me for 14 1/2 years. He's such a good boy - so well tempered and handsome and funny and full of unconditional love for his mommy. So I'm taking him to be hospitalized for IV fluids...fingers crossed...

I'm Saving Myself for Bobby Long!

That one's for Krysta! Wow...it's been a week. This not having any internet at home is a real bummer, man. I'm sitting in Crossroads (coffee house on Ridge Ave) listening to Band of Horses' "Funeral," drinking coffee (of course!) and eating some spectacular goodies! I love this place...it beats Starsucks by a mile! I had some trouble leaving the house today...feeling anxious for some reason. Maybe it's because Jack isn't doing too well...taking him back to WCVH for more tests tomorrow...fingers crossed.
Ok, so here's what's been going on: last Wednesday was a decent day - dog walking & cat sitting. I saw something pretty 'interesting' (as Grandmom would say) in the park in Northern Liberties. A little girl, maybe 2 or 3, squatting...no pants...doing either #1 or #2 (I didn't want to hang around to find out). Man, I thought that was for the pups only! Thursday was a busy, frustrating, and great day. Frustrating because traffic all day was horrific. Busy because I had 'work,' an interview at the art museum, a tour as well, & picked Kieran up from 30th street station. The interview was for a weekday guide volunteer position, and although the timing is not right for it, the women I spoke with were amazing and so interesting (and interested in me!). I took one of these tours and it wound up being just me and the tour volunteer...and it was SO interesting...I learned a bunch of stuff. I love, love, love, love the Philadelphia Museum of Art.
Friday was another busy day...but a great one! I had pet sitting and then Mom, Kieran and I toured the Barnes Foundation (me for the 1st time). What an amazing collection. The location is pretty hard to find and a few of the staff were not too friendly, but we really enjoyed going. Then we ate at Couch Tomato...yummy. I went home for a bit and then...drum roll please...a bunch of us went to see Bobby Long at World Cafe Live. OMG...I love him. His music and his voice are really amazing. I told my friends that this is why I'm single...because I'm holding out for a musician! We had so much fun.
Saturday afternoon I spent many hours at Mom & Dad's hangin' out with the whole family, including John Thomas (Mandy's 4 year old). I love those peeps...and I'm so lucky to have such a fantastic family! Then I hung with my girl Nadina at The Grape Room. We caught the end of one band's set, and then the 1st few songs of a Pearl Jam cover band, No Code. They were mediocre, and the lead singer was a bit of a diva-douchebag. While they were setting up I overheard him bitching about my 'hood, saying he hated Manayunk and was never coming here again. I think he was pissed he had to walk down a hill. Um, uh...not sure how we're gonna make it without his presence, but we'll try to go on...
Yesterday I hung with Tree and the kids and John Thomas (Mandy's 4 year old - holy cow he's one of the cutest kids ever!), and Quran (one of the boys from her school...a sweetheart). We did the mall, Manayunk, then caught up at her home. I had such a blast with them!
I just had a painful conversation with my mom...I was getting 'lectured' because I don't have a job or health insurance. I know she's coming from a loving place, and she kept saying that she was just 'worried' about me, but I'm still upset about it. I guess I'll just have to be ok with the fact that neither her nor my father will ever be as happy with my 'station in life' as they are with the rest of my siblings. But there's nothing I can do about it. I still feel incredibly blessed to have all that I do. I have much more than I need. So...life is good, man...

Day 2...

I'm LOVIN' it! Another 'easy' day today; 3 clients in the city and all pets did very well! It didn't hurt that it was a gorgeous day too. It's so fascinating to me how the neighborhoods change...from 4th & Poplar to 3rd & Spruce to 3rd & Snyder...it's so interesting.
Took Jack out for a while and he made a few more friends. Then gym and now here at Mugshots b/c my stupid computer won't connect to the internet at home.
I watched Boy With the Stiped Pajamas yesterday...OMG...so good and moving. It makes me so SICK and SAD to think that humans could treat each other that way...I cannot fathom the kind of thinking that Hitler and his followers had when they subjected Jewish people to such horrors and atrocities. I truly believe that they all had missing or severely damaged souls.
I also caught part of the History Channel's show about Nostradamus and 2012. Scary to think that so many believe in less than 2 years the world as we know it will end...I'm certainly not prepared for that possibility. So...does that mean I can take the trips I want, guilt-free? Should I cash out my 401K and enjoy my time...what little there may be left? I'd like to think we'll all be here for a long, long time and continue to learn from our mistakes, but who knows? I'm happy enough right now, though, and that's good enough for me...for now...

Mexican Spiced Cocoa!

Ok, I know it's been a while since I last wrote, but I've been having problems connecting to the internet at home. So...I'm sitting in a little coffee shop in on 3rd and ? (Old City area) drinking the above mentioned beverage. I'm between pet-sitting jobs. Today is my first 'full' day working for my new employer (Romp) and so far, SO DAMN GOOD! Man...even as I was sitting in the apt on 3rd and Spruce thinking about how stinky it was (very small, older cat - it's inevitable), I was STILL so happy that I wasn't sitting in a cubicle somewhere in Corporate Town, USA! The pay for my new gig isn't spectactular, but who can beat where I am right now? Cool coffee shop, lots of folks sitting around, drinking and eating and chatting about this and that, and me in my jeans and t-shirt drinking cocoa...!
Last week I got to catch up with Gen over a great meal at Bourbon Blue; I also got to catch up at the gym...my innertube was threatening to turn into a full-sized tire! I went bowling with some friends Saturday night, and although my score was pathetic (65...yes, the worst score on my team!), I still have a fantastic time and laughed my a$$ off! Got to catch up with Tan last night as well and we're talking about taking some trips...Nashville, New Orleans (we're vets there), and Egypt!
Watched the Oscars and was THRILLED that my predictions were correct...Colin Firth for Best Actor and The King's Speech for Best Film! I was hootin' and hollerin' like I was watching a game or something...(poor Jack and CJ, I scared the poo out of them).
So, the 2nd phase of  "adventures in unemployment" has started off with a bang (and a yell!).  :-)

The Grass is Always Greener...

...or so it seems alot of the time. Sometimes I feel 'less than' when I compare myself to people who have marriages, children, good careers, etc. I know I shouldn't compare myself to them, but I can't help it...it's an automatic reaction for me when confronted with what I see as my failures in life.
I recently reconnected with an old boyfriend, who has since married created a family. When I saw this, my first reaction was 'of course - he didn't waste so many years like I did.' That's where I'd be if I hadn't fucked up so badly. But...in our exchange of e-mails, I learned that it is an unhappy marriage and the only reason he stays is for his 6 year old son. I'm so sad for him, but it really puts things in perspective for me. What appears on the surface as a much better life may not be...and I really need to remain grateful for everything I have, even if I'm still coveting what you have. And while I'm still longing to find my partner in life, and perhaps a child, for right now I'll appreciate the fact that I have freedom to do things and go places that those with spouses and families may not have. I have privacy and 'alone time' that many do not have. I can clean and cook when I want, and eat out when I want. I am just where I'm supposed to be right now.

Settle Down Beavis...

1. This snow is bullshit...
2. But it is very pretty...
3. I can't believe how fast it's laying!
4. It's been a while since my last post...
5. I've had WAY too much caffeine tonight!
I think it's been a week, right? I don't remember. Last week was my last at D&Z, and the weather towards the end of the week put me in such a great mood (along with knowing that I didn't have to go back to work!). I had an interview Saturday morning with the owner of a petsitting company...went well and he's really great. I'm so excited to try this out! Not much money, but I think the 'work' will be so much fun for me.
I also reconnected with an old friend, which was nice. Facebook is good for that. Got to spend some quality time with the family this weekend, and tried a new German restaurant in East Falls - Fork & Barrel...good food and really cool look/ambiance (all candlelit). Planning a few getaways in the near future. I'm so excited...I have so much to look forward to. Maybe it's just the caffeine talking, but LIFE IS GOOD, MAN!

Clutz!

I almost killed myself this morning walking down my steps. As usual I was in a hurry to leave for work on time. My foot got caught in my pantleg and I lunged forward. I managed to catch myself, but holy $#!%! I scared the doodoo out of myself! It was a little 'message' telling me to slow down.
It's so beautiful out today! February 17th and I'm wearing short sleeves. This kind of weather really puts me in a great mood...I'm not such a good winter person - I tend to hybernate. Last night while driving home I could see both the gorgeous sunset and the moon at the same time. Mysteries of the universe and all of it's beauty...gives me hope.
Tomorrow is my last day (again) at D&Z. I'm meeting with the owner of a pet-sitting company on Saturday morning and will hopefully be trying it out to see if it's a good fit for me.
OMG, one of the women who works here just kindly informed me that there is leftover 'Square on Square' in the board room! SoS is the BEST Chinese restaurant in the city...yummy!!!! My fortune says "You will have many friends when you need them." - so true...
I'm SO excited to get outside and enjoy this weather...who's with me??!!!!!

Friends & Music...

Watched the Grammys last night - part of with a friend who's 'jamming' with me on some cover tunes. Most of it was hype, fluff, and crap (esp. "Lady" Gaga...wtf!), but there were a few good moments (like when Arcade Fire won and performed with huge smiles immediately after their win) and the Bob Dylan, Mumford & Sons, Avett Bros performance. I even enjoyed Gwyneth & Cee Lo...damn that girl can sing! I think it's cute that Miranda Lambert is my niece's 'original' name (before adoption)...maybe she'll go on to sing for a living as well...she does have some incredible pipes.
Had a great weekend and was particularly grateful for my friends. You ever have a moment that just really blows you away and moves you beyond words? I had one...my friend 'E' told me he missed me and it just really made me feel so loved and special. He's such a cool cat, man. Very spiritual, open-minded, and funny as hell. I was also thinking about my friend 'R' - she's my bestie. We've grown alot closer since 'the change' and have even learned how to argue without letting it get out of control. She's one of the most forgiving, loyal, and dependable people ever...and she cracks me the hell up (her driving antics are hilarious!). Anyhoo...I'm off to see 'my peeps'...talk soon.

Last Day!

So, the guy I'm working with just gave me the option to have next Friday be my last day (as opposed to today, I suppose). He said he senses my 'frustration' at not having enough to do. It's so interesting to me that, although it's very true, every single time I make a suggestion on how I can approach something or take initiative to get something done, he shoots me down...like I don't know anything...and then he explains how much experience he has doing his job. Yes, this project is out of my area of expertise, but there are certain things I AM very skilled at, but god forbid he admit that I have 2 brain cells in my head. Like right now, for instance - I'm re-formatting the corporate accounts payable policies & procedures and noticing that not only are many procedures missing, but they could use some serious improvement. Inconsistencies, poorly written, missing info, etc. But who am I to suggest improvement...because I don't have an accounting degree, right? Ugh...sorry peeps...had to vent. I'm so relieved that I won't have to deal with this crap anymore. Corporate America is such bullshit and the only f'n thing that matters is making money and stupid f'n office politics. They can keep it because life is so much more than the lifeless & stagnant world they live in. I'm not angry (although I'm sure you're thinking I am!)...I'm just finally starting to see things with a clearer head and heart. And climbing the corporate ladder is SO not for me.
Ok, on a more positive note...it's FRIDAY! And Spring is just around the corner...I'm so hopeful for the next phase in my life...and part 2 of Adventures in Unemployment!!!

Is That Bad?

I have a problem...I never know how long things will last in the refridgerator before they go bad. Example...my mom made bean soup from a ham that I got in November (that was frozen) and I had the soup in my fridge for about a week. I tried to eat it last night and had to call mom because it tasted 'tart' - like there was vinegar in it. 'No Kat...we didn't use vinegar...' - the frickin' ham went sour! EW!!! Tonight? Tried the chicken/broccoli/other stuff 'stew' that my dad made in the crockpot last week. Chicken was a bit chewy and there was a little fish-y-ness to it (was that the broccoli?), but I ate it, damn it! I really need to learn how to store food properly and know how long it keeps for! I hope my tummy doesn't regret my decision. I used to ask my friend Alveretta (at work) all the time about things like that...she used to get so frustrated with me and tell me to throw things out. Lord I miss her...
Work was extremely painful and tedious today. I don't know how much longer I can last. I'm working on a 'project' that is beyond my scope of expertise, and I get little-to-no and constantly changing direction from the person with whom I'm working. And he's frickin' moody. So annoying. Give me something I can sink my teeth into and I'll be off to the races. This? Torture. Between stinky work, funky meals, cramps, Jack's kitchen antics/destruction/mess in the kitchen yesterday, and the bitter cold...I'm ready for this week to be over! TGTF, right?

Bzzzzz...

Have you ever done anything completely out of character? I was de-pooping the snow in my backyard and noticed a bee (yellowjacket), submerged and on its back, in the snow! A bumblebee??? At this time of year??? What the...? So, out of curiosity I scooped it up with the poop shovel (I know, shut it!) and placed in on a wooden step-stool in my yard. And then it started to move! It was alive! I've never been much of a fan of bees, especially as a kid. I used to kill them whenever I could, for God's sake. They sting us...they're the enemy, right? Not tonight...
So then I decided to breathe on it (my 'hot air' might warm the little guy up, right?)...and the bee started to move! And THEN I thought it might be a good idea to transfer him to what's remaining of my fall mum. So I scooped him up again and placed him gently in the dirt...and then he REALLY started to move. Whoohoo! I really hope the little guy survives and pollinates lots of flowers this Spring. I'm so glad that I saw him, didn't kill him, and that I put a small, positive act of kindness out in the universe...

Blended Potatoes...

Yup...I got impatient with the hand mixer (and the potatoes were spraying all over the place!), so I put them in the blender. I'm not sure how well it worked, and I think my blender is still mad at me. Evidently I need the 'Hand Mixers for Dummies" manual! Jack was able to enjoy some potatoes with his dinner tonight, so maybe it was worth it. It's been a pretty low-key day so far...poopie weather as well. I made it to the gym (finally!) after my visit with Nadina. That poor girl has been through so much in the past week...but she still manages to crack me the hell up.
Gonna hang close to home tonight (and perhaps enjoy some more of "Justified, Season 1"...Timothy Olyphant is quite entertaining to watch, and super easy on the eyes!). Not too much going on tomorrow either except running some errands, etc. Uh oh...here comes Jack...I think he wants more potato milkshake!

Brokeback Snowmountain...

Yesterday was quite a day! I got to work and attempted to park on top of what turned out to be snow-covered ice. Spent an hour trying to dig out, crying, and sweating my ass off, until 2 wonderful men driving an American Signature Furniture van stopped and pushed me out. Interesting that a police officer and a PPA tow truck both passed me without a word or gesture of help. Lord, was I thankful to get out of that jam, and to Mike and Manny for their selfless gesture.
I also found out that my dear friend, Nadina was in the hospital after a terrifying fall down her steps with her son Colin in her arms. She somehow managed to protect him from injury, but wound up fracturing 2 sections of her spine. So frickin' scary...how your life has the potential to change in an instant and how it's so easy for us to take the simplest movements for granted. I went over to her house and helped her out with a few things and hung out with her for a while. Man, even with a fractured back that girl is a bad-ass...and funny as hell too! Mere kept my Jack company while I was gone and I was so relieved to find a mess-free home when I got here at 11pm. I have such incredible people in my life...I know I keep saying that, but it's so true and I'm so thrilled about it...
Just finished getting a package together for Mandy and included some pix of her sons, John Thomas (JT) and Jayden, along with some funny pix from Christmas (example: my brother was wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with Stupid" that included an arrow pointing to the person next to him...yeah, he's a riot).
I was thinking about trying to get to the gym tonight (my new schedule has made it a challenge to get there as often as I'd like), but between my sore back from yesterday, and just sheer exhaustion, I decided it can wait 'til the weekend...
Now I'm going to watch a scary movie...by myself...what is wrong with me??  :-)

Abundance...

...this is a word I've been thinking about alot lately. My friend, Erin, gave me a copy of "healing masters" cds and this word stuck with me. I think many of us do this, but I'll speak for myself when I say that I take so many things for granted. Like this morning, in the shower, it occured to me that many, many people do not even have the luxury of hot water. Or a roof over their heads, or food and drink in their cabinets and refridgerators, or steady income, or a car, or supportive family and friends. Gratitude is an incredibly powerful tool, when we remember to use it. Things could always be worse; remember this and your life will be put into perspective. There is so much abundance in my life...too many things to list besides what I've noted above. May I always remember to use the tool of gratitude...

Jayden...

I had the great joy of spending several hours with my great-nephew, Jayden, yesterday. He'll be 2 in May and he's an absolute joy! I took him to visit with my parents and Kieran and we had a blast! He's walking and talking and making everyone laugh. I feel so blessed that his father wants to maintain contact...repairing broken bridges...good stuff.
Work was not so bad today, and Kieran made it safely to Newport, RI (thanks to some awesome 'back-road' directions from Chris!). Ended the night with some great and wise friends...life is good, and it keeps getting better...

Weekend Time with the Family...

Kieran's here for another day or so before she drives up to Newport, RI to join Grant. So today we went to see Rich, Em, Jake and Owen (basketball games and lunch at Zakes - yummy!), and tonight we spent some time with Tree & Roy's kids, Caeli, Christiane & Little Roy. So much fun! And something has been occuring to me recently...time spent with my family is so much improved. I think about how I used to be and this time would sometimes make me sad. I'm pretty sure it's because I had so much shame about myself and I couldn't quite be comfortable and hold real, meaningful conversations. Today it's different...the conversations and time I spend is honest, real, funny, loving. I'm so much more comfortable in my skin and not ashamed of who I am. I may not have a great job, or a husband or children, or enough money (and yes, this does get me down sometimes), but I'm healthy and sober and happy. And this makes for easier times with my family. And for this I am so, so, so grateful...even when tripping on Little Roy's 'motkin' control' car!

Working From Home...

...it's not all it's cracked up to be...or maybe it's just this project I'm working on...which is extremely painful. The past 2 days have been really challenging. I've been going a bit stir crazy. They still haven't plowed my street and a girl got stuck earlier. I really want to get out of here but I'm not sure I'll be able to. Anyhoo...I managed to make it to the gym today, and had a really good workout (except for the part where I dropped the bench on my right foot - painful & embarrassing!). Walked Jack too (messy!) and he made a new friend...Fred...the 3 month old shar pei/pug mix my neighbors just got a few weeks ago. Oh...my...god...I can't get over how frickin' ADORABLE this little guy is!
Had a few good conversations with various family members (Mom, Tree, Kier, Rich)...love 'em, man.
As cranky as I can get (see above), I really do feel like I have a charmed life. Great & loving family, a host of incredible and supportive friends, a cute little work-in-progress home of my own in Manayunk, a dog & cat that keep me entertained (and poor at times!) and a million other things.
I have a bunch of things to look forward to, one of which is seeing Bobby Long at World Cafe Live on March 4th with a few of my friends. We're also going bowling (I'm not so sure how I'll do...my bowling skills are questionable) at the end of February and hopefully a trip to Rhode Island and then a warm vacation with my girls...
Ok...gotta watch Idol...the auditions are best part of the show!

Dinner with the Girls...

Well, Dad couldn't make it because he wasn't feeling well, so Mom & Kieran came down. I ran around like a crazy person trying to get ready. I was worried about the mashed potatoes, but they came out great! Ham, potatoes, green beans, baked beans, pineapple, Mom's homemade coleslaw (my fav!) and peanut butter chip brownies courtesy of Kieran! Dinner was pretty damn good, if I say so myself. We had a great time telling stories and cracking the hell up. My mom's stories are so funny, and long, and confusing sometimes...she goes off on tangents (I inherited that from her) and at one point Kieran yelled "I need a diagram!" OMG - so funny. And...I did ALL of the dishes, so no mess to deal with tomorrow. I'm tired and my back hurts, but I'm feeling pretty good right now...

Washing Dishes = Happy Kat

Just before I got sober in 2005, my house was in shambles. This included the dirty dishes I had piled in the sink & hidden in the oven. It was disgusting. And today, I know I'm depressed if my dishes start to pile up. Luckily (lately) they have not been. Tonight, before my dinner was dished out onto my plate, I was already planning my 'attack' on the dishes. And then I heard George's voice in my head: "You haven't even eaten your dinner yet and you're already doing the dishes..." - so I decided to slow down, enjoy my dinner, and THEN worry about the dishes. Balance...
Before I stopped drinking, I always, ALWAYS put stuff off. Bills, cleaning, responsibilities...I didn't deal with anything. Drinking always got in the way (and depression). Today it's different. I feel like if I don't take care of something, including the dishes, that I'll be heading down that awful road again of bad, bad habits. Maybe that makes me a bit anal, but I'll take that instead of the alternative.
Tomorrow night I'm having my parents and sister Kieran over for dinner...whoa...are we in an alternate universe??!! I'm excited though...the extra time I've been spending in the kitchen has helped me 'prepare' for this feat. Ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, baked beans, and pineapple. And Kieran's making dessert!
I just hope the bad weather holds off until we're done eating...and the dishes are done!  :-)

Random Facts

1. I love birds. I'm not sure when this began, exactly. Maybe when I was working in Delaware and driving down 95 everyday...seeing the pigeons lined up on the highway signs just gave me a chuckle. I never really noticed before then. I particularly love the little teenie birds (I think they're sparrows) we see here in Philly so often. I'm not sure what it is about them, but when I see them my heart just swells. They're so damn cute...I want to pick them up and kiss and hug them (I know, too small to do, but what can I say?). I was walking to work from my parking spot and passed a big dumpster filled with branches...and there were a ton of them just hanging out...chirping...I had to stop and watch them for a few minutes. I just get so much joy and a little peace when I see them. They're like little tiny reminders that my Creator is near.
2. I pick up pennies from the ground. I used to be embarrased to do this. They're only pennies, right? But a friend of mine once reminded me that on every piece of American currency, it says "In God We Trust" - another little 'reminder'...so I'm not embarrassed anymore...and the pennies add up!!
TGIF!!

Hhhmmm...

I wonder if I'm breaking any rules continuing to track my 'adventures in unemployment' when I'm working...(even if only temporarily). I'll say one thing...going back to work in the same setting has made me realize even more that I'm not the personality type that belongs in corporate America. I'm not really into the whole 9-5 thing, working for a company whose only interest is the bottom line. Good people work there and I really enjoy seeing them, but my next 'job' really has to be more fulfilling for me. Dog walking, helping people, superstardom, gardening, making coffee, making friends, teaching, finger painting...whatever...I just need a damn change! I am feeling much more like myself now that the doc has put me on little pill #2. The severe lack of motivation and 'cloud' seem to be disappearing. And getting out of bed has been a bit easier. Phew!
So, in addition to listening to the new Band of Horses album, I've been listening to the new Kings of Leon "Come Around Sundown" - honestly, I'm not impressed (and I've been a fan for many years...before the band wagon hoppers jumped on). But...the XX's album is fantastic. Check it out. And I'm obsessed with Adele's new single "Rolling in the Deep" - hopefully it'll be the next one Bill & I learn.
Did some research today for a trip that Debi & Erin & I want to take. I checked out St. John and Tulum. Man...what beautiful places! I really hope it works out. Travelling inspires me. My last 'real' trip (other than going to Quantico in December and Providence, RI in October) was to the 'World Convention' in San Antonio in July...one of the best trips EVER! So I'm really looking forward to getting away to somewhere warm and sunny with some really cool chicks. Gonna hit Newport, RI and San Diego too...might as well take advantage of the time I'll have once this temp job is over.
Lord, I'm chatty tonight...

Monday Schtuff

Sitting here at the office...nothing too exciting going on. I'm putting together a list of songs to learn, including Adele's new one "Rolling in the Deep" - I'm obsessed! I love it! I hope I can find a copy and we can work it out. I got some really exciting news about Jack over the weekend...no UTI or bladder infection, although he's on an antibiotic just in case. But more importantly, Dr. L said that his 'test results were surprisingly good' and his kidney function indicators and phosphorus levels are normal. He was running around the dog park like a puppy yesterday...so damn cute! And for the first time in a while, when I got home last night, the diaper was still on and no pee! Whoohoo!
On a more somber note, someone very close to me is sick...and suffering mentally & emotionally, I believe. I'm praying that she is healed quickly. Especially since she was so instrumental in getting me well.
Over the weekend I continued to de-clutter and I donated a few things to the Salvation Army. One of those items was my yellow backpack with wheels that I used to bring to the Phoenix Training Center when I was serving my weekends for my 2nd DUI. I probably could have salvaged it (cleaned it up), but I have to say I was frickin' happy as hell to get that thing and the memories associated with it out of my house!
Busy night tonight...hopefully I'll be back before the crappy weather starts...

:-)

I feel good today. It's a beautifully sunny day and I'm drinking coffee and enjoying my Saturday so far. I've done some reading and am doing some wash right now.
Jack's vet appt went well yesterday - we got alot accomplished and Dr. L was encouraged with his overall health, appetite, and weight. Plus, Jack and I got to see the 'girls' at WCVH and we just adore them!
I spent hours yesterday going through all of my papers and stuff from 2010 (my 'filing' system is sorely lacking here...it consists of piling things in a drawer!). I got most of it done and categorized into folders.
I also got to talk to my baby sis yesterday...she and her hubby made it to San Diego and she said it's beautiful there! I can't wait to visit...
Last night's meeting was great...I heard lots of good stuff. Had a blast afterwards...a few friends came over and we started exploring a 'girls' vacation to St. John (I am so excited about this I could pee!). Then we worked on some music (Bill & I practiced The White Stripes' "We're Going to be Friends" while Erin worked as the 'scroll girl') - we had SO much fun and laughed our @$$es off!
So today, I'm full of hope, gratitude, and happiness (I hope this lasts!).  :-)

Pee...

Had to make a vet appointment for little Jack for tomorrow b/c he may have a UTI. So, I'm supposed to collect a urine sample. Ok, no problem, right? Let him out, place container under his you-know-what, and catch the pee! Success...until...he kicked it out of my hand! More yellow snow...until next pee break.
I was admiring the scenery driving home from work today...the Schuylkill is frozen and there were a bunch of Canadian geese sitting on it. So beautiful. Hard to keep my eyes on the road with such beauty.
On another positive note, I had one of the best night's sleep I've had in a very, very long time. My doc prescribed another 'pill' because the little one wasn't doing the trick. Maybe it's starting to work, who knows, but getting out of bed was much easier today. Whoohoo!
OH, I downloaded a bunch of new music (new KOL album, XX, and Band of Horses). The new BOH album is STELLAR! Check it out...
Me loves me some good tunes, yo...

Sage...

I just finished 'smudging' my home (thank you, George, for the sage). I love the smell...it reminds me of the sweat lodge I attended this past fall and it grounds me a bit. I smudged Jack too...
I worked from home today (thank you Mother Nature!) and read through an incredibly boring audit manual. Then I went nuts doing stuff around here (was it that afternoon cup o' joe?). Owning a home is fantastic, but there is an endless list of things that have to get done...but I'll take it, man. I have so, so, so much more to do, but one day at a time, right?
I noticed that my neck/back pain has returned since going back to work. Coincidence? I think not...I guess I'll have to bring the Aleve with me until the project is complete.
Also gave Jack another subcutaneous treatment today...I don't think I'll ever get totally used to it (nor will Jack!), but he's been such a good sport. I bring 'cookies' with me and sing to him and rub his head...hopefully that makes it a bit easier for him to bear. He's enjoying his new diet...ground beef, chicken, cottage cheese, eggs, parsley flakes, vitamin C and fish oil...he's eating better than me!
That's my cue to go make some dinner for myself. I'm missing a game/movie night with my friends, but parking in the Yunk is 3x as bad with snow and I'm afraid to leave my spot. Jeez...that makes me feel old...

1-11-11

Second day back at work, and so far so good. A little slow to start...but that's ok. It's nice to see all of my friends from D&Z. They said it was so 'quiet' without me...not sure if that's a compliment or what...!  :-)
Last night's meeting was a really good one. I kept getting choked up. One of my friends shared that he wanted God to take his life...and He did...and gave him a new one. That's how I've felt since August 16, 2005. Another woman shared that she was feeling much better since going into treatment, even though she doesn't have any money, or a car, or food, etc. After the meeting I witnessed one of the kindest acts I've ever seen. I was going to hand her my phone number, and a married couple (with not much money themselves) was giving this woman money for groceries. I was so incredibly moved and I can't stop thinking about it. I am so blessed to have this group of people in my life. I've made some of the best friends...true friends, and I get the kind of support and love not many people get to experience. Life is good, peeps!!!

Aunt Teresa...

I had dinner and a really nice visit with my great aunt Teresa. She's my dad's aunt and she's 88 (but you would NEVER guess it). I love spending time with her and hearing stories about her family and my Uncle Joe (her late husband). And she's hilarious...she comes out with gems such as "the 'oldies' are dead" (and she meant people, not the music genre!). Lord, I love that woman.
Went to a really nice party last night in West Philly with some friends. Good people, good food, good times...and MAN those houses are so huge and cool.
I have to go to work tomorrow...the start of my 3-month 'pause' in my time off. I hope Jack doesn't rebel too much...

Boxes...

I'm attempting to be a bit productive each day, so today I brought up 3 boxes from the basement. They were filled with stuff, mostly knick-knacky gift-y type things. I've been feeling ready to de-clutter and get rid of stuff, so I was all gung-ho for this task! I think a little too gung-ho. At one point while I had both hands full of stuff from the 2nd box, I kinda froze and got really confused as to what I was going to do with this stuff! I realized that I don't have to get rid of EVERYTHING...and that my house is still a work in progress and some stuff could just stay 'put away' for now. So...I did manage to fill a box for the Salvation Army, a bag of stuff others may want, and a bag of stuff that I'm keeping. I still have a ton of stuff to go through, pictures in frames, cds, books, files, clothes, etc. but a little at a time, right?
It's the weekend and I'll be enjoying it like the rest of the world since I have to go to work Monday. More snow, more boxes, lots of coffee, and hopefully some fun!

So Good I Had to Write Twice!

Yes, twice in one day! This is what stopped me in my tracks today at Gorgas Park while walking Jack. Such a beautiful image that reminded me that there's more out there than just me...helping me, protecting me, loving me.
I was cleaning out a drawer today and came across something I wrote down from a movie a saw a while ago called "Martian Child." John Cusack's character says to Amanda Peet's character "You're one relentlessly sunny individual" and she responds with "Yeah, well I don't always wake up that way." SO appropriate for me, wouldn't you say?  :-)
Got to hang out and catch up with an old friend (hey Andrew!) before meeting up with some girlfriends...
So it's been another great day...

Countdown...

Only a few more days until I go back to work, so I'm trying to make the most of it. My mood has improved since the conclusion of the holidays. Not sure if its my meds finally starting to work, or if I'm excited that we're closer to Spring...whatever, I'll take it! My sister and her hubby are headed out West and are stopping in New Orleans for a couple of days. It is one of my FAVORITE places...I wish I could be there. The French Quarter is full of really cool people and architecture and history...
I got to see Aunt Barb, Uncle Joe, Marlene and Len Tuesday night before Aunt B & Uncle J returned to Florida. It was a really fun visit at my parents (and yes, I cheated on my low-carb diet!). My older sister has been struggling with a situation for the past few weeks...her and her husband were the victims of identity theft and have lost thousands of dollars. I'm praying that they find the person/people responsible...what a nightmare.
I got a letter from my niece, Mandy yesterday...she's still in Rhode Island and hopefully will complete the program and start building her life back up again.
My dad has been in alot of pain lately. This worries all of us. He takes meds and has a special pillow, but it seems as though he won't make a change in his 'routine' so he continues to suffer. It's so sad and frustrating to watch. He's so miserable when he's in pain. We've been trying to get him to try something different, but he always says he's too busy with 'work.' Ugh...
I just got a text from my younger sis (from the road). She said her hubby officially has a mustache now and she 'can't take him seriously' when she looks at him! OMG I can't stop laughing...  good way to start the day (well, that and coffee!!).  :-)

Carb-O

So I've been trying to watch my carb intake in an effort to lose a few more pounds. I guess these white chocolate-covered cashews I'm eating right now aren't helping!
It's been a really fantastic day today. I woke up early, early, early, and the same ol' crap was going through my brain. But...today, I made a decision to go back to bed and not feel guilty about it. When I did finally get out of bed for the day, I didn't feel guilty...it was like some weight had been lifted (even if temporarily). So I've had a pretty great and productive day, and I got to see my baby sis and her hubby for a bit before they depart tomorrow morning for San Diego (road trip, with a stop in New Orleans!).
Yesterday Debi & I got to visit with Krysta and Sofia...what a great visit! Sofia Marie is so, so, so precious. And I got to change her poopie diaper...good times...
Today was topped off by a 'meeting' with my peeps. Tomorrow I'm going to put together the lamps I got from IKEA today and some other 'house' stuff on my list will get done before hangin' with the fam to see Aunt Barb and Uncle Joe off. Next week...back to work.

1-1-11

It's almost 10pm and I'm sitting here with Jack watching Eclipse (yes, I'm a sucker for the Twilight series...read all of the books). Went to see Burlesque with a few friends earlier...entertaining. I'm kinda dreading having to go back to work next Monday, but it will only be for 3 months, thank goodness. Yesterday I learned a few valuable things from my friend "G" who is helping me with my house. We worked some more upstairs and I continue to be amazed at how good he is at what he does...and with his patience for my lack of 'handyman' skills. But I learned how to hammer nails out of a board, remove trim from a window, and remove staples from the floor. How lucky I am to have this man as my friend. I'm blessed with several of them since entering this new phase of my life (about 5 years ago). And although I struggle daily with where I am in my life right now, I take solice in the fact that I have true friends...that I can be myself with...no bullshit, no lying, no worrying about being fake...or what the hell I did the night before (that someone would have to fill me in on...usually Randi, poor thing).
Today, while at the gym, I was confronted with a smell that took me back to a very difficult time in my life. I was serving my weekends (45 of them) from my 2nd DUI in 2005 and most of them were at the Phoenix Training Center at 10th & Lehigh. It was a work-release program for women in prison and the sent 'weekenders' there as well. Some of the girls would spray themselves with this sickeningly sweet body spray (or whatever the hell it was) and the stink of it would even wake me up sometimes. Ew, ew, ew...I couldn't stand it. So whenever I smell something like it, it takes me right back to that place. So today, although the stench of it made me want to vomit, it also made me so extremely grateful...grateful for my life and my freedom and my friends...my true friends...