The Grass is Always Greener...

...or so it seems alot of the time. Sometimes I feel 'less than' when I compare myself to people who have marriages, children, good careers, etc. I know I shouldn't compare myself to them, but I can't help it...it's an automatic reaction for me when confronted with what I see as my failures in life.
I recently reconnected with an old boyfriend, who has since married created a family. When I saw this, my first reaction was 'of course - he didn't waste so many years like I did.' That's where I'd be if I hadn't fucked up so badly. But...in our exchange of e-mails, I learned that it is an unhappy marriage and the only reason he stays is for his 6 year old son. I'm so sad for him, but it really puts things in perspective for me. What appears on the surface as a much better life may not be...and I really need to remain grateful for everything I have, even if I'm still coveting what you have. And while I'm still longing to find my partner in life, and perhaps a child, for right now I'll appreciate the fact that I have freedom to do things and go places that those with spouses and families may not have. I have privacy and 'alone time' that many do not have. I can clean and cook when I want, and eat out when I want. I am just where I'm supposed to be right now.